From Russia with Love

No, this isn't a blog post about a James Bond movie starring the best Bond ever (fight me). It's a post about Russian piping tips, and my epic love/hate relationship with them. I was cautious about making another "important event" cake with Russian piping tips after how terribly they failed me (or I them, depending on who you ask) with my birthday cake. But my husband, whom I have an epic love/love relationship with, deserved an anniversary cake that showcased the tremendous lengths I am willing to go to to make sure he feels appreciated and loved. A normal person could just use their words to accomplish this, but I'm a small bundle of awkwardness that generally only feels comfortable expressing how tired or hungry I am. Outside of those two emotions (don't tell me hungry isn't an emotion...I feel it in my soul), I'm more of a "grand gesture" type of person. If you're wondering how I feel about you, think about whether I've ever baked for you or sent you baked goods. If the answer is yes, know that I like you, and that makes you special...because I hate everyone. But boy do I ever love cake--specifically, ones full of boozy goodness. I wanted to go over the top with my piping techniques and cake flavors to celebrate our sixth (technically 6.5) wedding anniversary. The traditional gift for the sixth anniversary is iron, so I gifted my husband with my iron-clad will to make a kick ass cake with this Grand Marnier orange cake with blueberry filling and Grand Marnier orange buttercream:

Because being married to a predominantly French woman isn't enough, my husband is also forced to eat French booze cake.

 I had never had Grand Marnier on its own, so besides being a complete failure to my French heritage, I wasn't sure if I would actually like it. I bought a bottle, hoping that the cognac aspect wouldn't make my tongue recoil in horror. In my drinking days, I stuck with vodka with a side of vodka or occasionally tequila because I'm a respectable Texan, and I never veered far from clear liquor. Cognac, although fun to say, was nothing something I ever drank. I'd like to think my taste buds needed time to reach their full potential because quite frankly, Grand Marnier is friggin' yummy, but it's definitely not something vodka-swilling college Kate would've liked. This cognac makes for one hell of an orange cake/frosting combo, and it gives a sticky sweetness to compliment the tartness of the blueberry filling. This is now my favorite cake combination I've ever made, and I find myself wanting it for breakfast because it's like eating a really boozy blueberry orange muffin. Thank God I remembered to make it low cal so that I can eat it whenever I want (judge all you want, but I'm the one with the cake). At only 260 calories a slice for 12 slices, this sets you back less than an actual muffin. Winner, me!

(and that's not just the Grand Marnier talking)

I started this cake off simply enough with a box cake mix, but I took extreme liberties to make the flavor come to full fruition (see what I did there) with fresh oranges and other delectable ingredients. To make three six-inch rounds or two nine-inch rounds, you'll need:

•  One box white cake mix
• 1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp orange extract 
• 2 TBS fresh orange zest (about 1/2-3/4 of one orange)
• 3 egg whites
• 1/4 cup of Grand Marnier
• 1/2 cup of fresh-squeezed orange juice (I needed two large oranges)
• 1/2 cup of skim milk

Preheat your oven to 350 and grease your pans and line them with Parchment paper (don't forget the bake even strips. Lifesavers!). Blend together the cake mix, applesauce, extracts, zest, and egg whites on low for about 30 seconds. Add in the cognac, O.J., and milk and blend well for 2 minutes. Pour into your prepared pans and bake for 22-25 minutes (add more time if you're baking in 9-inch rounds) or until your rounds pass the toothpick test. Let your cakes cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a cooling rack.

Your house will smell like the citrusy parts of Florida...I assume. I live in the non-citrusy part of the state.

I made my cakes the weekend before our anniversary, so I let them cool fully before leveling...even with bake even strips, a naked cake requires completely level surfaces, and how else was I going to get to try a sample?! Then I wrapped them up securely for freezing following my previously tested and successful wrap and bag approach.

Berry nice to meet you...

I still had approximately sixty lemons (scurvy free!) leftover from my lemon cream pie, so making my filling was a sinch. I mixed two pints of blueberries with two tablespoons of granular swerve and one tablespoon of fresh lemon juice in a medium sauce pan. I brought this to a boil over medium-high heat while mashing my blueberries with a potato masher and stirring with a spoon until thick, about 5-7 minutes. I had a lot of filling leftover, so you probably could get by with cutting this portion of the recipe in half.

It made a purple mess. Much like the end of my Minnesota Viking's last season.

I took my saucepan and placed it in the freezer to set for thirty minutes. During that time, I found my Grand Marnier, miraculously not all gone, and got my frosting ingredients out.

Butter, my oldest friend.

This is a full buttercream (no Crisco anywhere) because I wanted to ensure I had the proper consistency for piping with my Russian piping tips. I'll tell you precisely how I made this frosting, followed shortly thereafter by what I will do next time for even better piping. Live, learn, and eat the cake anyway. You need:

• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 2 1/2 cups of powdered sugar
• 2 1/2 cups of Swerve confectioners sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp orange extract
• 6 TBS Grand Marnier...which was one tablespoon too many for piping. Only use 5 if you want a *perfect* piping consistency frosting. Use 6 if you don't care and just really, really like Grand Marnier.

Cream the butter in your stand mixer until fluffy, three or so minutes. Add in the 2 1/2 cups of powdered sugar, extracts, and 3 TBS Grand Marnier, mixing on low until incorporated. Then blend in the 2 1/2 cups of  Swerve and 2 TBS of Grand Marnier. I was trying to use half powdered sugar and half Swerve to see if this would allow my booze flavor to shine through without getting that cooling effect from Swerve...and it totally worked. Will be using a 1:1 ratio from here on out to make things way healthier but still taste exactly as it should...sugary and amazing.

The circle of life.

 Once you've made your frosting, load up a frosting bag with a large round tip (1A is what I use). Get all your cake layers ready for frosting. Place your first layer top-side down on a cake board (a.k.a., the bottom of the cake is facing up to create a perfectly flat, even surface). Pipe a thick border around the edge.

Mmm, blueberry filling.

 Now, you can scoop your cooled and set blueberry filling inside of your circular border. I did not top with more frosting, but in the future, I would. Without the support of the extra frosting over the filling, the cake does collapse in on itself when you cut it, so you get messy, albeit it still delicious, slices. Repeat piping and filling with your next layer. I had about 2/3 of my blueberry mixture leftover, so you can save this for toast, sandwiches, mix it in with oatmeal, throw it at Green Bay Packers fans to turn them purple, etc.

Tres chic!

I finished by smoothing a small layer of frosting on the top of my cake, using an angled spatula to create a rustic-looking swirl on top, which I promptly did not photograph. My bad. The side of the cake just looked so pretty...I was distracted by it's elegance. Like the Helen Mirren of cakes.

We meet again, comrades.

I wanted a color palette that would compliment my orange cakes, so I went with pink, yellow, beige, and coral flowers. These are the tips I used. They don't have numbers on the side like most piping tips, so I honestly have no idea what does what. It's some Russian conspiracy or something. If this is how they plan on world domination, we've got plenty of time.

I washed a lot of dishes that day.

I wanted to give you some tips on achieving pretty flowers with Russian piping tips. For starters, don't fully mix your dye with the frosting. Leave it streaky, so you get more natural coloring. For example, instead of *PINK* flowers, you get pink flowers with varying shades and richness this way. I took my remaining frosting, dropping a large dollop into each bowl and slightly mixing to achieve the color I wanted. I added a few drops of yellow with one drop of orange to one bowl, a few drops of orange with one drop of pink to another, a drop of beige to another, and a few drops of pink into another bowl. I took a tiny amount of frosting, dyed it green, and loaded it into a piping bag with a leaf tip. I was now ready to conquer Russia.

Or so I dared hope.

With my cake on a turn table, I loaded up the random piping tips with my frostings. I now realize I was playing a much safer, less deadly version of Russian Roulette with my un-numbered piping tips. The gift of iron(y).

And somehow, this happened.

 I piped with even pressure, and made sure to clean the nozzle off of each tip with a paper towel after each flower was piped. I created a semicircle bouquet around my cake. With a softer consistency, some flowers didn't take shape as well. Placing the frosting in the fridge to firm up with help with this.

I still have no idea what form of sorcery made this work.

 I do know the tips that formed roses were the easiest (the tips with just the round lines on them above). They piped evenly and kept shape the best. I could pipe a little or a lot, and no matter what, it formed a rose. The pink and beige flowers all looked wonderful.

Coral, you failed me.

 The yellow flowers also looked really cool. This was the tip above with the three dots in the center and the round lines. The coral flowers looked like someone threw up a half-eaten flower (hi, I have dogs, this is an accurate description). They were mushy and would not hold shape even after cooling the frosting to firm it up. I wasn't sure if I should pipe a little or a lot, and neither worked out for me.

Don't forget the leaf tip, the real MVP.

 Once I practiced, piped, cleaned nozzles, and piped some more, I finished off the cake with my leaf tip, placing leaves sporadically around flowers, trying my best to cover up any ugly coral flower abominations. I suppose a 75% success rate with Russian piping tips is nothing to scoff at, but I'm at a 100% success rate with my American tips, so yeah, much like the 2016 Olympic gymnastics showdown, Team USA wins.

And when we win, we eat cake.

 I'm definitely going to keep at it with the Russian tips, though. They do yield amazingly gorgeous flowers with the right frosting, so, consistency, unfortunately, still key. I'd like to try mixing two different colored frostings into one bag to create insanely cool-looking flowers as well, so I'm still coming up with ideas for these tips. But back to cake--THE cake, I should say. If you even remotely like Grand Marnier, you will love this cake. The blueberry filling adds a pop of tartness to the overall flavor, which is surprisingly sweet for being an orange base. The Grand Marnier orange buttercream is a thing of legend, and it might possibly be the yummiest frosting to date that I have ever made. The plain cake with filling is like the most delectable muffin you've ever eaten, but adding a forkful of that buttercream turns this into an absolutely divine dessert experience. I am so glad life handed me oranges instead of lemons, and even happier to have a husband to help me eat all of this cake...and also, to enjoy life and adventure with. We had a wonderful anniversary, and now, we have this delicious cake to remind us how sweet life is together. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

You know you love someone when you're willing to share dessert.