Sunday, September 24, 2017

Easier Than Pie

Trust me, there's no one more surprised than I am that this isn't another pumpkin dessert blog. We finished up the pumpkin toffee bars earlier in the weekend, and I was immediately ready to go for round two of pumpkin spice madness, but I actually don't buy my canned pumpkin in bulk. Shocking, I know. Instead I decided to give my husband a break and bake something else. I know, poor guy, having to put up with my baking all the time. But in all seriousness, I wanted something that was quick and easy. It's still 90 every day with over 85% humidity and the thought of having the oven on for longer than 30 minutes is well, sweltering and makes me want to cry a little. I mean, it's raining right now, and true to my Garbage-loving musical inclinations, I really am only happy when it rains. But much less so when the rain somehow makes it even more hot and humid than it was before it started. Florida even ruins rain for me, so I clearly am harboring some feelings that need to be eaten. And since my usual motto is that "These feelings would go great with pie," I wanted to whip up something that would satisfy my lust for fall foods but take literally no effort on my part. And thus, the apple pie dump cake was created.
It was still hot out, but I felt so much better about it.
The beauty of the dump cake is that you literally just dump your two ingredients in a pan and shove it in the oven. But since I am both complicated and a perfectionist, I used more than two ingredients and employed the use of my stand mixer. But I still promise it's easy. And it's actually super low-cal. My entire cake makes 15 servings at only 126 calories a slice (sans toppings). It's a bit more than that after I pile the Cool Whip Free and caramel sauce on top, but what's an extra 80 calories when I burn that many simply standing outside and sweating in the Florida heat for five minutes. Florida summer: nature's natural weight loss remedy. You can definitely eat this without toppings. Honestly, without the toppings, this would make a great brunch staple. Fluffy angel food cake meets tart and sweet apple filling and a sprinkling of delicious cinnamon-sugar on top. Drooling yet? You should be. And if you think caramel sauce and Cool Whip can be eaten at any time of day, I both applaud you and recommend this can be eaten with any meal at any time.
Six ingredients to pure crisp, apple-y fall bliss.
Six ingredients?! I know, downright absurd for a dump cake. But when you consider I'm calling this an apple pie dump cake, thus fusing together pie and cake, I think you can forgive me for asking you to find six very simple ingredients instead of two. After all, I'm just trying to make the world a better place via dessert. I think we'd all be a lot happier (or at least less inclined to talk) with our mouths full of cake. Gather up:
  • 1 box of angel food cake (the just add water kind)
  • 1 can of apple pie filling (I used lite for lower cal and sugar content)
  • Cinnamon and sugar
  • Caramel Sauce
  • Cool Whip Free
This is literally the hardest step.
 Start by preheating your oven to 350 and greasing a 9x13 pan with cooking spray. Now bear with me, here's where things get extremely complicated. Dump your cake mix and can of pie filling into a bowl and mix on low until ingredients are blended. Whew. Thanks for coming with me on that wild ride.
Did I mention I'm serving this cake with a heavy side of sarcasm?
 Plop your batter into your pan and smooth out with a rubber spatula. Tap on the counter to release air bubbles.
And also serving it with a side of cinnamon sugar.
 Then sprinkle a little bit of sugar and a lotta bit of cinnamon on top of your batter. Apple + cinnamon = the other great fall comfort food. Bake your cake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. The top should be slightly firm (not completely hard) and golden:
I wanted to dive in with a shovel.
Mmmm cinnamon sugar is like crack to me. I refrained from licking the entire cake though, so I'm getting better with my addiction.
Once cooked, set on a cooling rack and let it cool off a bit before serving. I let it cool all afternoon and reheated in the microwave for a few seconds to get the apples nice and gooey again and just because I feel like anything apple cinnamon should be served warmed. 
And then this yummy melty Cool Whip happens.
And I was not wrong...topped with a dollop of  Cool Whip Free and some warm caramel drizzle, this transported me to one of my favorite cider mills in Rochester Hills, Michigan, where we could watch them press the apples to make cider while eating a fresh apple cinnamon donut. And yes, I do have a favorite cider mill. If you don't, go find one that can bring you into a state of childlike glee that fall has arrived (in most of the United States). You can bide the time with this cake though because it is the perfect amalgamation of apple pie and angel food cake. Sweet and tart with that melt-in-your-mouth consistency of angel food cake and a slight crunch from the cinnamon sugar topping. The metaphorical icing on the cake is that its done in a whopping 35 minutes from start to finish. It will make your house smell like fresh cinnamon donuts and turn even the staunchest of summer lovers into a fall fanatic. I mean, you might want to top theirs with ice cream though. Baby steps. With October just around the corner, you can bet I'll be back soon with a plethora of spooky treats. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Brace Yourselves...Fall is Coming

...or so I'm told. After threats of a giant hurricane quickly brought us out of our post-Alaskan adventure bliss, we're left with 88 degree temps in the middle of September here in Northwest Florida. While it may be so hot and humid it fogs up my glasses when I step foot outside, I have total climate (and decorative) control over the interior of my house. Since it's halfway through September, the fall decor is in full swing. I am greeted by Dia de los Muertos skeletons every time I walk in the door, and I am positively twitchy to get Halloween fully rolled out. But since I'm afraid some of my outside decor might actually melt in this heat, instead I decided to fill the inside of my home with a scent I had been longing for since last fall. That's right--pumpkin flavored everything has now begun rolling out of the oven. Florida's ridiculously hot weather better get with it, because I'm cranking the A/C, wrapping myself in a soft blanket, and willing crisp mornings to get here stat. Hell hath no fury like a Kate craving fall weather.
My biggest sin is that I dare to hope.

These mouthwatering pumpkin toffee bars have thankfully taken me to my happy place. Coincidentally, my happy place is just being on my couch surrounded by my dogs, but this time with fall-flavored desserts. I'm hard pressed to decide what I like best about these bars--the pumpkin, the toffee, the fact that my entire living room smells like a giant Yankee candle, or the low-calorie goodness that baking with pumpkin provides. Why yes, I am pretty happy with myself for baking these. Thank you for noticing. What you won't notice is an expanding waistline because an 8x8 pan makes 16 servings at only 164 calories a bar. I mean, you could even pig out a little and cut them into 12 servings for 220 calories. I'm not here to judge your pumpkin intake. In fact, I'm here to encourage it. I will say bars are best served while watching something Halloween-y.
All the ingredients you need to make your very own white girl catnip.
I found this recipe and decided to make a few modifications. Literally the hardest part about all of this was finding Heath toffee pieces at a grocery store (Target saved the day). Usually I keep my pantry stocked with toffee bits (my toffee cravings are the only thing more powerful than my pumpkin ones), but I had since devoured the last of my toffee during hurricane prepping. Nothing brings out my sweet tooth faster than imminent doom! I've been successfully eating all my feeling since 1987. To make these bars, you'll need:
  • 1 box of spice cake mix
  • 1/2 cup of flour
  • 3/4 heaping cup of pumpkin puree
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 heaping cup of Heath toffee bits
  • 1/2 cup of fat free sweetened condensed milk
  • Optional: pumpkin pie spice
You will need ALL of the cooking spray.
Start by preheating your oven to 350 and lining an 8x8 pan with foil. Heavily spray the foil--this dough is stickier than a jar of honey but equally sweet and delicious. Mix together the cake mix, pumpkin puree, egg, and flour. Spray your hands with cooking spray, and line the bottom of the pan with the dough mix. I used less than half of the dough mix and just gently pressed it into my pan and partially up the edges.
Like really bad finger paint art.
Now, measure out your heaping half a cup of scrumptious toffee bits and sprinkle, sprinkle away, my friend!
Like tiny little bits of heaven. What? I'm not drooling right now. You are.
Then top your toffee bits with the 1/2 cup of sweetened condensed milk.
 Now, spray your hands with more cooking spray and take small chunks of the leftover dough mix. Flatten it out in your hands and top the condensed milk/toffee goodness until you've either used up the dough or have your bars completely covered. I sprinkled the top of my dough with pumpkin pie spice for some pizzazz and extra pumpkiny goodness. I am not ashamed of how basic my love of pumpkin spice makes me. I only get to enjoy this for three months a year, and then I go back to being Wednesday Addams the other nine months. Once I finished topping my bars, I had about 1/4 of my dough mix leftover. 
Doesn't have to look spectacular. You're going to eat the entire pan faster than you can look at it, trust me.


I took my remaining 1/4 of dough mix, greased a 6" cake pan, flattened the dough into it, and topped it with chopped pecans and a dusting of cinnamon. I baked both my bars and my tiny pumpkin creation at 350 for 20-24 minutes. My 6" pumpkin pecan cake was done at 20 minutes, and my pumpkin toffee bars were done around the 23-24 minute mark.
And the smell made me happier than a bird with a french fry.
Must resist urge to dive in face first.
Let your dreamy pumpkin goodness cool on a cooling rack until completely set. Give this at least four or five hours at room temp or pop into the fridge for two or three hours. These are worth the wait, I swear. 
If you make a small cake with the leftover batter, it's cooled in a half an hour.
I know this because I had a slice with lunch, 30 minutes after I took everything out of the oven. The cake itself is bursting with that spiced pumpkin flavor so quintessentially tied to Autumn. It isn't too sweet, but the cinnamon and pecans on top made it a perfect thing to have with brunch or as a means to tide you over before actual dessert time after dinner.
Pictured: Dessert part deux
Yeah, I had dessert twice in one day. Is this surprising? No. It would honestly be more surprising if I had waited the entire day to get my hands and taste buds on some pumpkin. While the little cake was a good way to keep me from eating the entire pan of pumpkin toffee bars before my husband got home, the main course was so tasty I was transported to a time and place where the wind is cooler, the smell of fall is in the air, and the humidity levels are hovering somewhere around "You can totally have straight hair today" amounts. These pumpkin toffee bars blend two of my favorite treats together into one perfect amalgamation of everything I ever wanted in a dessert. They are sweet, they are spiced, they are laden with toffee. If I could only eat one dessert for the rest of my life...but thankfully I don't have to make that choice because there's like 65 different ways to incorporate pumpkin into dessert, and I'm just getting started. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!
You are the first in a long line of your kind.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

C'est la Lemon

There were a few blissful mornings last week when the humidity was below "tropical jungle" level and a nice chill swept the air on my early morning dog walks. Hocus Pocus and the Addams Family movies were playing on Freeform in the evenings, August had dawned upon us, and it finally felt like we might be moving into fall. After those lovely 48 hours, Florida punched me in the face with high temps, even higher humidity, and essentially sucked my will to live away from me--much like Winifred Sanderson sucking the soul out of a small child to live forever (I make a reference to Hocus Pocus at least once a day, so just deal with it). Summer still has me in its evil, sweaty clutches, and there's no end in sight. I decided that just to spite it (and because I like cupcakes), I was going to make the most summery dessert I could think of--lemon cream filled lemon cupcakes with Cool Whip and blueberries on top. I promised my husband to at least wait until September to unpack the Halloween decorations and start putting pumpkin into everything we eat. But know that I'm positively dying to put up my new Dia de los Muertos decorations while smelling the sumptuous scents of pumpkin and cinnamon wafting through my house. Summer, you will always be my least favorite season, but damned if I don't also love lemon as much as pumpkin spice.
It's just so zesty.










Since I want to be able to maintain my competitive eater level of appetite whilst still being able to rock a bikini year round (thanks, Florida), each lemon cream filled cupcake is only 100 calories a cupcake. In my head, this means I can eat three of them and still be eating fewer calories than a regular, sugar-laced cupcake. For people who don't have impulse control issues, this means you can eat a very lemony, very creamy, very delectable cupcake with literally no guilt. And dear sweet baby Jesus are these ever amazing. Try to eat just one...I dare you. I made a whole batch of 24 and froze half "for later." Later in this context probably means this weekend.
I'd like to thank the good folks at Coca-cola for making this possible.
To make the cupcakes, all you need is a box of lemon cake mix, 2 egg whites, and 10 ounces of Sprite Zero or other diet citrus soda. Preheat your oven to 350 and line a muffin tin with cupcake papers. Mix together the egg whites, soda, and cake mix for 2 minutes on medium-high. Take a cookie scoop or a tablespoon and plop the cupcake dough into your liners, filling 2/3 of the way full. Bake for 12-15 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.
They will both look and smell lemony.
Fattest. Blueberries. Ever.
 Let your cupcakes rest in your pan for 5 minutes and then remove to a cooling rack to allow to fully cool. Meanwhile, you can gather up the filling ingredients:
  • 1 cup of skim milk
  • 1 box of sugar free vanilla pudding
  • 1 box of sugar free lemon Jello
  • 24 blueberries
  • 4-6 ounces of Cool Whip Free
I had to do some mad science because I couldn't find sugar free lemon pudding; if you can, omit the lemon Jello and make the pudding following box instructions and ingredients. But because I could not obtain lemon sugar free pudding, I had a hypothesis to test--can Jello and Jello pudding be mixed together? Differing temperatures, differing consistencies...it was risky, but ultimately, the answer is a resounding hell to the yes. Go, Science!
Not urine. Promise.
 I brought two cups of water to a boil and then turned off my burner. I stirred in the lemon Jello for 2 minutes with a whisk. I then placed this in a measuring cup and put it in the freezer to cool. You don't want the milk in your pudding mix to curdle, so definitely let this cool to a little above room temperature.
My whisk was working hard that day.
 Then I dumped my vanilla pudding mix and one cup of skim milk into a cold mixing bowl. I whisked until my arms almost fell off. I'm told by box instructions and a kitchen timer that 2 minutes of pure cardio whisking is about all my fragile, bird-like limbs can handle.
Worth it.
Once my Jello had cooled in the freezer, I poured a half a cup into my pudding mix, whisked until incorporated, and then poured another half a cup into the pudding mix, blending well again. You will have another cup of lemon Jello leftover, so pour this into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and enjoy the feeling of eating hospital food at home and have it with your lunch. Let your lemon Jello/vanilla pudding mix rest for about 10 minutes to firm up and then place into a piping bag or a Ziplock bag. Wait to snip the end off for right now.
Now, back to the baked goods.
 Once your cupcakes are completely cool, take a cupcake corer, apple corer, or be janky like me because I don't have these things and use a large round frosting tip to core out the middle of your cupcake and make room for that delicious science experiment we just successfully implemented in the previous steps. I wiggled my piping tip halfway into the cupcake and gently pulled it out of the cupcake to remove the center:
Excellent reservoir for pudding filling.
 Then I grabbed my piping bag of filling, snipped the end off, and filled each of my cupcakes to the brim!
And I was so, so happy there was leftover filling.
Much like the lemon Jello, you'll have some leftover filling. Works great after lunch with a dollop of Cool Whip Free, or straight out of the piping bag and into your mouth. I've tested both options out, and personally, I love it either way. Definitely classier to eat it out of the bowl. Place your filled cupcakes into the freezer for an hour to firm up.
No method to this madness, however.
 Once your cupcake centers have set, load up a piping bag with a piping tip and Cool Whip Free. If you can find the sugar free lemon pudding mix, you can always blend your Cool Whip Free with another 3.4 ounces of sugar free vanilla pudding and a bit of milk. I used a 2D tip to just randomly pipe stars, hydrangeas, whatever my little heart desired in the moment, and finished up with a blueberry on top of each cupcake. I really, really just wanted to see how my lemon cream filling turned out...
Mmm, lemony center...
Oh yes, it was the perfect consistency after these sat in the fridge for a half hour to thaw out from their trip to the freezer earlier. Thick, but still liquid in consistency. Like a Boston cream filled donut, but in lemon form. I'm not lying when I say I feel like something that rich should be way more than 100 calories a pop, but I'm so happy they aren't because I can shovel them away with reckless abandon. I love lemon flavoring, and these cupcakes are the best way for me to grin and bear the remaining days of summer. Hard to complain when you've got a mouth full of cupcake, after all. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!
I could eat all six right now, just sayin'.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Must Love Pupcakes

Did you know that dog food gets taste tested by humans? I start this blog off with that particular tidbit of information because the recipe I'm about to show you is definitely for dogs, but it looks good enough for human consumption. I'm not gonna judge you if you make these for your beloved pooch and accidentally snag a bite. Your dog might though. I always make my dogs a special treat for their birthday, whether it's cookies, cakes, or pupcakes, Hank and Freyja probably get more decadent treats than most people do on their special day...considering my husband and I belong to the generation of Millennials that bought a house just to have dogs, this really isn't all that surprising. I love my dogs and spoil them accordingly. I will show you photo after photo of how adorable they are, clog up your news feed with said photos, and continue to remind you regularly that dogs are the best thing to ever exist. But no, in return, I really don't want to look at your actual baby's photos. Unless your baby has 4 legs. And cute snout. And is definitely a dog. Then we're good. Remember, your kids are only adorable to you and your immediate family, but dogs are adorable to everyone. I will, however, also accept photos of your kids with dogs; this is the one exception to the rule.
I just hope your child's ears aren't as big as my kiddos are.
Blueberry mini pupcakes--the dogs essentially told me these were a hit by devouring a few in under 15 seconds. I had them each try a blueberry before I made these to make sure they'd like them. Hank inhaled it. Freyja looked at me like I had betrayed her with this tiny sour ball that most definitely was not the peanut butter she was hoping for, but ultimately, she ate it. While I don't do calorie counting for dogs (yet...), I limit these to 1 and 1/2 pupcakes per dog, per day, mixed in with a little less kibble for dinner. The recipe yields 18 mini pupcakes total and is an absolute cinch to throw together for your four-legged companions (or yourself...).
I mean, minus the dog food, this is all good stuff to eat!
You only need a few staple pantry items and some blueberries to make these. I adapted this recipe. Round up:
  • 3 tbs crushed dog kibble
  • 1/3 cup plus 3 TBS whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 2 tsp honey
  • 1 egg
  • 1/3 cup skim milk
  • 2/3 cup fresh blueberries + 18 blueberries for garnish
Start by preheating your oven to 350 and line a mini muffin tin with mini cupcake papers. Lightly grease your cupcake papers. Alternatively, you could reaaaallly grease up your mini muffin tin and skip the liners all together.
Ensure you have a good buddy on hand to clean up any floor spills.
 Mix together the crushed kibble, flour, and baking powder in the bowl of your stand mixer. I turned around after doing this to see Hank (as pictured above) and knew in that moment he had figured out whatever I was making, it was definitely for him. He's smarter than most of the people I know, I swear. Dump in the milk, egg, honey, and blueberries to the dry mix and blend for a minute on medium high. You want the berries to break up a bit so the doggos can chew them easily.
Now, take a cookie scoop, and grease it well.
These don't bake up much, so fill a little over 2/3 full with the help of your cookie scoop or a tablespoon scoop.
Since these mini pupcakes are, well, mini, they only need to bake for about 10 minutes in the oven. Test with a toothpick--you shouldn't have any batter come out on a cooked pupcake. Avoid aiming for a blueberry cluster when you test though. Unless you like to lick blueberry juice off a toothpick. And I do. So I may have done this "test" a couple times.
Let rest on a cooling rack for 10 minutes.

Then remove and allow 30 minutes to fully cool, all the while marveling that these look like tiny blueberry muffins and definitely something you want to try a bite of.
These are definitely safe for your consumption.
 To frost your pupcakes, fit a piping bag with a 1M tip, and load the bag with a little bit of whipped cream cheese. I simply piped little stars on top of my pupcakes by holding the bag directly over the pupcake and piping a small mound on top:
And they were super tiny and super adorable. I could probably fit four of these in my mouth at one time. I know my dogs would double that.
Finish off by gently pressing a blueberry into each star.
"Mother, I am hungry."
 Once frosted, keep these in the fridge until ready to serve at your dog's birthday party, obedience school graduation, dog wedding, or whatever other ridiculous shindig we dog folk continue to come up with every year to celebrate our beloved canines. Be sure to unwrap these before serving to your pup. They definitely aren't discerning when it comes to eating paper...I mean, they kinda have a reputation for it. No one ever said their cat at their homework, after all. But I promise you they will love them, and they will show this love by burping in your face directly after eating them and then licking you to death with blueberry kibble breath. And it will be wonderful, because dogs just are.
It's blurry because he was wolfing them down like he hadn't eaten in days (it had literally been an hour since his last meal).
Hank turned six(ish..rescue dogs don't come with birth certificates!) today, and I just want to stop time. No matter how many years I get with this dog, it will never be enough. He is my soul mutt, and when he looks me in the eye, my icy cold heart turns into complete mush. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my dogs, including but not limited to: waking up at 5 a.m. to walk them 7 days a week, bake them fancy treats, brush their teeth every few days to recover from said treats, cuddle them with reckless abandon, let them sleep on me and refuse to move for fear of waking them, and basically give them more love than I ever knew I had in me. That's the great thing about dogs--they are steadfast in how much they love you. A crappy day is always ended quickly when wagging tails and cold noses are there to greet you at home. The least I can do in return is spoil my dogs to what may seem a borderline ridiculous amount to some, but not to me--or to Hank and Freyja. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters! Go cuddle your pups!

Sunday, July 16, 2017

A Piece of Cake the Size of My Head

When I was but a wee child, I had an insatiable sweet tooth. I realize the irony in typing that as at the age of 30, I sit here eating cinnamon Graham Crackers topped with peanut butter. If you had told me when I was five that I'd still be eating the same lunch over two decades later, I would've been thrilled considering both my love of peanut butter and hatred of change. But the only thing I loved more than routine was eating donuts the size of my head or pancake stacks taller than me. Come to think of it, this still applies. The only thing different now is that I'm familiar with the concepts of guilt and feelings-eating (oh, the parallels!). Ah, to be an innocent, gluttonous child once more. I may still have the metabolism of a hyperactive child in a sugar-fueled rampage, but I try my best to eat healthy. I have been craving a Boston cream donut to the point where I get a little drool-y when I drive by a Dunkin' Donuts, and I knew my sweet tooth/inner child was going to win out eventually. It was just a battle of wills between satisfying my donut lust while simultaneously still fitting comfortably into skinny jeans. In case you were wondering, yes, it is positively exhausting being this crazy. But the insanity sometimes results in pure genius--like this Boston cream angel food cake.
Even topped with chocolate glaze.
I love angel food cake, but it is a nightmare to make. I don't own a tube pan, so I have to make angel food cakes in my bundt pan. It is possible, and the experience will definitely make you believe in said angels when it turns out right, but sometimes, a quick trip through a bakery is all you're willing to put up with. If you're looking for the easiest thing you'll do in your kitchen all week that results in cake, buy a premade angel food cake for this recipe. The other great thing about angel food cake is that it is unabashedly low in calories. By swapping out a few other ingredients, this cake is only 160 calories a slice for 10 slices total. What donut in the world can say the same? I mean, a slice of this equates to a piece of cake the size of my head--thus satisfying my inner child. And unlike eating a donut the size of my head, a slice of this cake doesn't leave me praying for death or an unlimited supply of Tums after I eat it. What you might call a win, win.
Oh yeah, and only five ingredients to make! A lazy win, win.
The worst part about making this Boston cream angel food cake was having to step foot inside of a Walmart to get a premade angel food cake. Thankfully, having to avoid being touched and/or breathed on by anyone else inside of a Walmart only occurs about once a year instead of weekly now that we don't live in Clovis. Small sacrifices. To make this heavenly (see what I did there) angel food cake, you need:
  • 1 angel food cake
  • 1 package of sugar free Jello instant vanilla pudding
  • 1 1/2 cups skim milk
  • 1 cup of Cool Whip Free, divided
  • 2 ounces of Baker's Semi-Sweet Chocolate
And prepare for a photo montage!
 Mix the milk and pudding together with a whisk in a medium bowl for two minutes. I consider myself to be in really good shape, but my biceps were so, so happy after these two minutes were over. Mad props to my stand mixer for taking care of my dessert needs because if I had to whisk my desserts every week, I'd never eat any baked goods.
Whisk in half a cup of Cool Whip Free and set aside.
Ahh, the cake garotte wire returns.
 You will need to tort your cake into three layers. I use my cake leveler, but a long serrated knife would also work if you don't enjoy the feeling of using garotte wire to mutilate a cake. It's a lot more fun than it sounds, I promise.
Once torted, set the top two layers aside. Place the bottom layer on a large plate.

And then add a thick layer of the Boston cream filling on top of it. I used an angled spatula to even out and smooth. Not that it really matters, because you're just going to put the middle layer of the cake on top of this, and repeat with another layer of Boston cream filling.

Finish off by placing the top piece of cake on top of the last layer of Boston cream filling. You may have some oozing out of the sides, but you can achieve a cool "naked cake" look if you take your angled spatula and swipe it around the side of the cake:
It's messy, but in a really chic way. Gotta love trends.
 Now, take 2 ounces of the chocolate baking bar and hack it up into tiny pieces. Sorry, this blog is sounding way more murdery than I intended. Dump into a bowl with the other half a cup of Cool Whip Free. I cleaned out and reused the same bowl I used to mix my Boston cream filling (I wasn't kidding last week with that lazy but efficient business). Microwave on high for 30 seconds, and get ready to whisk those biceps back into shape, baby! You should be left with a nice, thick chocolate ganche. Dump small spoon-fulls on top of the cake and smooth out with a spatula:
Ohhh yeah, look at that little drip of chocolate glaze in the middle...mmmmmmm.
 Sorry, I may need a moment to recover from that photo. The glaze might run a little down the sides of your cake, but it's still going to look absolutely spectacular, like the world's largest donut:
Or what I imagine the world's largest donut would look like. I'd probably have to go to the Minnesota or Texas State Fair to figure it out for real.
...that's it. All you have to do now is let your cake set in the fridge for an hour, and then you're ready to serve it up. Do leave any leftovers in the fridge to keep the Boston cream layers firm. Y'all, seriously, this was so easy that I figured it would only be an "okay" substitute for my Boston Cream donut craving. I have dreams about how good this cake is. I stare at it longingly every time I open the fridge. The angel food cake is the perfect amount of sweetness to complement the Boston Cream layers, and the chocolate glaze is the perfect finishing touch. It's the classy, adultier version of a donut. My inner child also appreciates this because I was born feeling like a 45-year-old in most regards. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go sit on my couch in scuffies and pj's for the rest of the day, because whether your 10 or 60, it's just a good way to spend a Sunday. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!
Size. of. my. head.