A Berry Big Deal

 I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but I do look for literally any reason to make a tasty dessert. I really celebrate the day after Valentine's Day when I can procure 15-30 pounds of chocolate for like three bucks. But since I'm still waiting for that glorious day to come, I knew I needed to get on the ball and make a dessert to help me pass the time. Strawberries and Valentine's seem to go hand in hand...here's a piece of fruit that's sweet as and shaped like your heart! Now eat it! And well, I love cheesecake berry much, so it just seemed like if I'm gonna sorta celebrate the day after Valentine's Day, I could celebrate the few days before Valentine's Day with a strawberry cheesecake. At what point do I just admit this is me celebrating Valentine's Day, you ask? After 2020, do we really want hell freezing over? Because that's what it would take...

That would literally be the last straw(berry).

I have several secrets to indulge you with where this cheesecake is concerned. 1. It's got cottage cheese in it. 2. This makes it extremely low in fat and calories. Because 3. I have to have dessert every single night, or I might either die or have terrible nightmares I live in a world where sweets don't exist. Seriously, if you ever hear me say, "No, I don't want dessert," that's code for, "I'm being kidnapped, please help me." And since I load up on sweets but don't want to load up on pants size, I wanted to try using cottage cheese as a replacement for cream cheese. Even if you HATE the stuff (it's a very polarizing food..you either love it, or you hate it with the burning ire of a thousand suns), I can promise you after it is all mixed together, you would have literally zero clue that it's there. Thank the strawberries and sugar for making that possible. But thank the cottage cheese for making this layered strawberry cheesecake only 173 calories a slice for 8 slices total.

Yet somehow, there's even butter in it.

I have a tried and true gluten free graham cracker crust that makes a nice base for either 8-inch pies or cheesecakes. I don't like a crust going halfway up the side of my cheesecake, so this is enough to make a base only. Double this recipe if you like your cheesecake to be mostly crust, you weirdo.

• 3 TBS cold low fat butter, cubed
• 2 TBS monkfruit sweetener
• 1 cup of Kinnikinnick gluten free graham crumbs
• If using regular crushed graham crackers and not GF, add a tablespoon of water

 Throw all these ingredients in a food processor (I have a mini food processor, and it's the perfect size for this recipe), and puree until things get clumpy. 

You're gonna need Pam.

Spray and line an 8-inch springform pan with Pam and Parchment paper. Dump your crust in, and spray your hands liberally with cooking spray because this recipe is STICKY. Press into an even layer and bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes, then remove and place in the fridge to cool.

And get ready to fall in love with cottage cheese. I promise.

For the strawberry cheesecake layer, you need:

• 16 ounces of small curd, low fat or fat free cottage cheese, strained, at room temp
  
• 1/2 cup of monkfruit sweetener
• 1/2 cup of light sour cream at room temp (you could also use Greek yogurt, but strain this, too)
• 3 eggs at room temp
• TBSP vanilla
• TBSP lemon juice

To strain the cottage cheese, place it in a sieve over a bowl and let it drain for at least 3 hours while it comes to room temp. Discard the liquid, then dump your cottage cheese into a food processor and puree it until absolutely zero lumps remain.

Butter wishes it was this smooth, even.

I was multitasking while making my filling. You'll also need to make a strawberry puree. To do this, I used 2 cups of strawberries, tops removed and then berries chopped in half, mixed with 1/4 cup of monkfruit sweetener in a medium sauce pan. I stirred every few minutes, cooking on medium high, for 10 minutes. By then, the strawberries had broken down, so I used a potato masher to complete the job.

My sieves saw a lot of action this day.

Take your puree and pour it over a seive into a bowl. Use a spoon to gently stir and allow the liquid to drip through, leaving any large chunks of berry behind.

Could be liquid-hot magma.

Put the drained puree into the freezer while you work on the rest of your filling. It needs to be completely cooled before using or it will curdle your filling. Nothing says, "Happy Valentine's Day, I love you so much I could just die," like a curdled rotten cheesecake, right? I digress. Now, place your blended cottage cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with a paddle attachment and blend for 2 minutes with the monkfruit sweetener. Then add in the sour cream, lemon juice, and vanilla extract. Blend until incorporated. Add the eggs, one a time, mixing on low so you don't add in too much air (that can cause a cheesecake to crack while baking). Once all your eggs have been added, let it rest for a moment while you preheat the oven to 350 and line your totally cooled springform pan with foil and a crockpot liner to keep it dry during it's spa day in the oven.
 

This way said spa day doesn't give it a soggy bottom. No one wants a soggy bottom. This is Valentine's Day, after all. Giving your loved one a pile of mush won't go over well. You'd need diamonds to rectify that situation...

Pour half of your cheesecake batter into the prepared pan. Once your puree is fully cooled, add it to the remaining filling in your mixing bowl.

Before my hopes had been dashed.

I mixed well, added a little pink food coloring, and hoped dearly that this would layer on top of my batter so I would have white-pink-red layering, but even gingerly pouring one spoonful at a time, it sunk like a stone, so only the middle of the cheesecake is pink. Truly, you would have to go no-bake in order for that layering to work, but I figured it was worth a shot, and even if it didn't pan out, I would still have cheesecake. So you could feel free to dump the puree in with ALL of the cheesecake batter and add a little pink dye and have an entirely pink cheesecake with a red layer on top. It would look totes apropes for V-day. Sorry, my Millennial is showing.

We just love the slang so much.

Now, place your cheesecake into a large roasting pan and add 4-6 cups of VERY STEAMY (also totes apropes for V-day) water into the pan. The water bath allows for even cooking and no cracking. There should be no breaking of anyone's anything on Valentine's Day, especially not the top of their cheesecake! Bake this for 1 hour and 40 minutes at 350 degrees. The center should be wiggly like Jell-o, but the sides should be completely set. Once this is done, turn off the oven and crack the door. Leave the cheesecake in the oven for an additional hour to finish baking.

Remember, nothing says, "I love you," like toiling away on a dessert for 48 hours.

Once that hour is up, run a sharp knife around the edge of the pan and then top with plastic wrap. Place in the fridge for at least 4 hours if not overnight to finish setting. I kinda wish I had made the whole cheesecake that shade of pink...they do call it Millennial Pink after all. Someone help me.

Say Jell-o to my little friend.

For the final layer, the next day I boiled 2 cups of water and added one 0.6 oz packet of sugar free strawberry Jell-o, mixing for two minutes before removing from heat and letting cool to room temp. You do NOT add the cold water called for on the box. It will set without it, and it would be WAY too much Jell-o with the added cold water. You want a thin layer, not several feet of Jell-o to "tunnel of love" your way through to the cheesecake layers.

My cheesecake is wearing a cone of shame.

I took acetate and cut two layers that completely ensconced the cheesecake. Very gently wiggle these or some wax paper into the sides of your pan to keep the Jell-o from overflowing out the side of your springform pan. I still placed my springform on top of a cooking sheet in case it did. This cheesecake was not going to best me a second time, oh no. I'm a "plan to fail" kind of person, apparently. I must be delightful at parties. Never invite me over to anything but a wake.

Suck it, cheesecake!

 Once the Jell-o is cool to the touch, put it into a measuring cup so it is easier to handle. Carefully pour this on top of the cheesecake, then move slowly and very carefully to the fridge. I had several curious dogs to contend with on my path to the fridge, but I'm happy to report we made it without turning my kitchen into a Jell-o covered bloodbath.

Alexa- cue Seal's "Kiss from a Rose."

So, clearly, I put either glitter or some sort of accoutrement best described as "extra," on top of 99% of all my bakes. Here we have no exception. I created strawberry roses with a few leftover strawberries and a small paring knife.

And I knew I had done well when my husband casually strolled through the kitchen with nary an idea what I was doing and said, "Oooohh, nice roses."

I could try to explain how I cut these and somehow didn't lose a finger, but I am instead going to instruct you to view this how-to a much more talented person than I created. Just please come back to me when you're done. I have abandonment issues also fitting of a Millennial. FOMO is still a thing, right?

Some seepage, but not terrible.

I let my Jell-o layer set for about 4 hours before removing the collar of my pan and gently running my paring knife around the edge of the acetate collars to release the cheesecake. A bit of Jell-o made its way down the sides, but there's still at least two distinct layers here, so I'm gonna call it a win.

Plus, those strawberry roses are a show-stopper.

Sung to the tune of Prince's "Raspberry Beret..."
"She wanted strawberry cheesecake, the kind you find in a grocery store."

Well, the inside is a lovely shade of pink, but I didn't get my 3 layers like I had hoped. HOWEVER, I will report that the taste of this cheesecake is OFF THE CHARTS. Taking the time to puree those fresh strawberries was worth it. Jelly or Jell-o alone would not have resulted in such a perfectly sweet balance of the berries with the creaminess of the overall cheesecake. I honestly think using the cottage cheese made this way creamier than cheesecake usually is with cream cheese. There's still a nice bit of tartness with cottage cheese, so you're not missing that without cream cheese either, and the sour cream does add to that as well. It's actually a really fun dessert to eat because you get so many flavors coming together with each bite. The fun wiggle of the Jell-o pairs with the softness of the cheesecake layer, and that graham crust is nice and buttery. Much like any good relationship, these flavors work well together and form an amazing team. My taste buds are now seriously in love, even though they know it will end in heartache when the last slice is finished. Good thing there will be plenty of on-sale chocolates in the pantry by then to nurse its wounds. Rebound chocolate! 'Til next time, my fellow eaters.

You could say it was love at first bite.