Monday, June 9, 2014

Mosquitoes, tornados, and hail storms- oh my!

Well, I have to start off by admitting this was the first week in ages that I didn't make an actual cake. But I have a really, really good excuse, trust me:

Oh, hi there....
I spent around an estimated three hours in my closet between Friday and Saturday night praying I wasn't about to get blown off the map...I know, usually I would love for this place to get blown off the map. Just not while I'm in it. Between me, the dog, and hedgehog, it was like a stress fiesta in that little interior room. I was also not very enthused to leave the questionable safety of my closet to find out that hail was either so large or coming down in so much frequency and volume that my outside A/C unit had totally bit it (it sounded like all three, FYI). Clovis summers: 2 My A/C: 0. Some of you know that within the first two weeks of moving in to this house, the unit went kaput. Then to have it happen again Friday, well, let's say I believe there is a direct correlation between my husband deploying during the summer and my A/Cs ability to function. Apparently it really gets down in the dumps when he isn't here to enjoy all its hard work.

Luckily a broken A/C was all that happened to us, and I was later able to pound lots of grape to recover (that's slang for wine drinking), and watch all 13 episodes of Orange is the New Black in two days. I may have a slight binge Netflixing problem. But it isn't hurting anyone. I still remembered to feed Hank and P.B., okay? Don't judge me. I really couldn't move around on account of the eleventy billion mosquito bites I've collected on my body thanks to all this wetness everywhere. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have two large mosquito bites on the back of your knee? And the bottom of your toe? And the side of your damned face? Yeah, I look like I have some strange form of pox. Anyway...the whole weekend I kept meaning to play with the cake decorating tips my mother-in-law mailed to me, but between all my itching and scratching, Litchfield Prison and its captivating inmates just won out...

I just, like, septupled the amount of tips I had in an instant.
It was really awesome of my MIL to send me all these tips. They have been in her family for quite some time, so I am honored to have them passed down to me, the newest cake decorating Fox. Seeing as how I have a massive need to organize everything as succinctly as humanly possible, it should come as no shock that I busted out my Wilton catalog and organized each and every single tip in to its proper category with its other like-minded tips (yes, I realize I just copped to segregating my decorating tips).

My soul stopped feeling itchy after I had each of these in their proper place.
 I played with quite a few tips that are no longer even in existence in the Wilton line. Why, yes, I do feel special, thanks for asking. I was really happy to get a bunch of basket-weave tips as that is something I wanted to experiment with. I also have quite a few leaf tips now, so I should probably figure out how in God's name those are properly used by a left-handed caker. Anyone? Bueller? I think my next cake will feature mostly weaving, and I realize that means I'll spend about thirty-five days icing said cake, but it is really nifty:

Please ignore my first attempt on top...
clearly I cannot eyeball measurements to save my frickin' life.

It is a fun little decorating idea, and I could even get crazy and mix colors together in my weaving. Watch out, we got a real rebel here. But this week will not be devoted to any cakes- there's this dude I'm married to who has a birthday coming up. Unfortunately he's clear across the pond, and a cake would look like a mushy pile of mold by the time it got to him...because it would literally be a mushy pile of mold by the time it got to him. Instead, he gets my famously soft and chewy cookies sent in a birthday care package at the end of the week. I'm sure at some point I'll still manage to get frosting in my hair even though these cookies don't call for an ounce of frosting. I'm just that talented. I'll be sure to post my secret to amazing cookies for you all with plenty of photos in the next blog because I tolerate love you so much. Sorry for phoning it in with the blog this week, but I totally could've died this weekend, so you really should be more understanding...geesh. Til next time, my fellow eaters!

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