|And fail or no fail, it looks and tastes like a winner.|
|Duncan Hines...how dare you.|
- 1 box white cake mix
- 2 egg whites
- 10 ounces of diet creme soda or diet Sprite/7up
- 1 box chocolate cake mix
- 2 egg whites
- 10 ounces diet root beer or Diet Coke
- Green gel dye
- 1 10x6 loaf pan and other-sized pan for white cake (more on this in the fail section later)
- Shamrock cookie cutter (...for reasons to be explained shortly, check the sizing to make sure it's not taller than your loaf pan. Figured out where I'm going with this yet?)
|Oh look, a brand new, unassuming loaf pan. I also did not heed my spatula's mantra.|
|I was still so full of hope at this point.|
|Even here, when I was delighted by how easily my new loaf pan released such a heavy cake. I was so happy I was considering writing a review for it on Amazon. That unbridled enthusiasm has since waned.|
Let your cake cool in its pan for 10 minutes, then remove to a cooling rack. I highly recommend placing the cake in the freezer for an hour. The firmer the cake, the easier time you'll have not necessarily for the cookie cutting, but for removing the cake pieces from said cookie cutter without them breaking. When your cake is fully cooled and partially frozen (also the working title for my autobiography), take your shamrock cookie cutter and cut out enough shamrocks to line up end to end in your 10x6 loaf pan with a little room on each end of the pan for the chocolate cake batter to cover them up.
|Not pictured: Kate Panic Stages 2-4, more commonly referred to as the "cursing, crying, and bargaining" stages.|
I was only able to yield 3 very fat clovers from my green loaf cake. I ended up having to stamp my cookie cutter down in the actual middle of the cake instead of cutting into loaves since my cake, much like its baker, was vertically challenged. My Wilton shamrock cookie cutter (obtained from Amazon) was only 3 1/2 inches high, and I mistakenly thought it was going to end up being too short. Oh to go back to that wonderful ignorance. After I yielded my three fat clovers, I placed them on a Parchment-lined baking tray and put them in the freezer overnight. Kate Panic Stage 5 then came to pass. This stage of panic is known as the "acceptance and eating of all the cake remnants" stage because nothing says "I've got this" quite like a grown woman eating cake scraps at 10:00 p.m on a Saturday night.
|At this point, I was more or less trying to finish this cake in spite of my new loaf pan.|
|At least two pieces of this cake will not include a shamrock surprise. So I guess the surprise is that there isn't a surprise in those slices. Irony.|
|I don't have a panic stage past level 5, but if I did, I'd call it the "heavy sighing and reluctance" stage.|
Once you've lined up your shamrocks, gently deposit the rest of the batter on top of the shamrocks and around the sides of the pan. Things definitely won't look even or pretty, but the main goal here is to completely cover the shamrocks with chocolate cake batter so that you can't see any green poking out anywhere. Now, bake for about 50 minutes or until a toothpick comes out mostly clean from the chocolate portion of the cake.
|You can run, but you can't hide, clovers.|
|Hindsight: the mint extract would've been good.|
- 1 brick of Philadelphia reduced fat cream cheese at room temp
- 1 heaping cup of powdered sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- Green gel dye
- Decorative toppings: Gold sprinkles, gold stars, white and green sprinkles, etc.
- Optional: 1/4 tsp mint extract. Still kicking myself for not adding this in. It would've made things even more festive for the season.
|Also, you don't have to make your frosting greener than a John Deere tractor.|
|I just slathered all my frosting and distributed it evenly on top.|
|Then I used a spoon to make circular swirls in the frosting before, of course, topping with gold stars. Gotta make those leprechauns jealous, you know.|
My husband said he liked the swirly, messy look of the frosting because it was an appropriate decorating technique for a drunken Irish holiday where the more Guinness made available, the less able anyone would be to frost a cake smoothly. I felt like I was taking the lazy way out since this cake had crushed my will to live, so that lifted my spirits to the point where I was ready to slice this cake open and see the level of failure I was working with.
|In your face, loaf pan, cookie cutter, and Amazon.|
|So now that you've laughed at my strife, I get to go eat cake. She who has the cake gets the last laugh! ;-)|