Monday, June 6, 2016

Key Lime Pie with a Twist.

I'm assuming the first person that ever made a key lime pie was from the Florida Keys. And when I think Florida Keys, I think key lime pie, rum, and mosquitoes. Hey, two out of three ain't bad. But I feel like an opportunity was seriously missed here--back in the rum-running days of yore down in Florida, why was no one interested in smuggling booze via food? I mean, not that I'm complaining, NASCAR came about because of all of this after all, and me in all my Texan redneck glory can't live without hot, nasty, badass speed, but it just seems like circumventing Prohibition would've been a lot less risky if Auntie Ruth was just selling boozy pies at the church bake sale every Sunday instead. Then you could have your rum and eat it, too. These are the thoughts that plague me but inevitably lead to some really great ideas in the kitchen. So when my husband asked me to make a key lime pie, I knew if I was going to spend all that time juicing limes, there better be some rum involved. Coincidentally, I knew I needed to practice making key lime pies because we're moving to Florida. And when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Or in this case, bake like their rum-running ancestors.  May I present to you, the Malibu key lime pie.
Literally mixing lime and the coconut. No innuendos here. For once.
Why has no one else tried this? I mean, I guess since no one has this means I get to toot my own horn and revel in my greatness, so this is really a win-win for me and my future clientele in Florida. And it's hot outside. Super hot. Like someone left the oven on at 1,000 degrees hot. So when summer decides to slap me in the face, all I really want is a cool beverage that consists mostly of sugar, rum, and one tiny umbrella. But since I try to only drink on the most special of occasions (unfortunately, "it's hot" isn't good enough to qualify), I needed to try to satisfy this rum craving in a more adult and less "Woo Girl on spring break" manner. I'm simply too old and tired to deal with the day-after-Woo-Girl-celebration hangover anymore, so I'll eat my booze instead. I hope my mother is proud of how grown up I am. It only took almost 30 years..
But much like any former Woo Girl, I still buy my rum in bulk sizes.
Pre-made pie crust? Yep, I know juicing limes doesn't seem like a terrible job, but once you've juiced a thousand tiny key limes, you're gonna be really satisfied with your decision to not also make a pie crust from scratch. However, aside from juicing limes to the point that even your hangnails have gone numb, this is an insanely quick recipe to throw together. You need:
  • One pie crust (I used a low fat pre-made crust to cut some calories. Those bikinis don't wear themselves, folks). You can make your favorite homemade crust, but this is just so much quicker.
  • 1/2 cup of key lime juice (*see note below)
  • 2 tablespoons of key lime zest
  • 1/4 cup Caribbean coconut rum like Malibu
  • 2 14 ounce cans of sweetened condensed milk (again, I opted for the low fat version)
  • 1/2 cup of light sour cream
  • One husband or significant other to juice all your limes. I cut so many corners with this pie.
In all seriousness, juicing tiny key limes didn't seem like it would be that much of a pain, but my darling husband volunteered to do it since he requested the dessert. I know, how did someone so evil land someone so nice, you ask? It may or may not have something to do with how I look in that bikini. I kid.

*Key limes are quite small, so you'll probably juice 10 of them to get a half a cup of lime juice. You can use regular limes, but if you live in Florida it's probably illegal to make a key lime pie with plebeian limes. I had several leftover key limes which I used to decorate my pie with. More on that later! Now, on to making the filling!
You will smell like limes for days by this point.

If you want to brown your pre-made crust, go right ahead following package instructions. Make sure your crust is TOTALLY cooled before you add in the filling! To make the filling, dump the lime juice, lime zest, rum, condensed milk, and sour cream in a blender with a whisk attachment. Blend for a minute or two until everything it well mixed. Dump your filling into the pie crust, place the crust on a baking sheet, and bake at 350 for ten minutes. Let rest on a cooling rack for another 10 minutes before chilling. I chilled my pie in the freezer for 1 hour before adding whipped cream.
You're gonna love me for this...
No key lime pie is complete without whipped cream. No Malibu key lime pie is complete without Malibu whipped cream. Whipped cream is so easy to make, but you could always grab a tub of Cool Whip and mix in a tablespoon of rum if you're looking for an even easier fix. But to make the real, genuine good stuff that would make rum-runners and pirates proud, get:
  • 1 cup of heavy cream
  • 3/4 cup of powdered sugar
  • 1 tablespoon of rum
  • Leftover limes for decoration
Chill your mixing bowl in the freezer for a few minutes, then add in the cup of heavy cream and mix on low for 30 seconds before upping the power to medium-high. Mix until the cream is forming peaks, around 2-3 minutes. Then add in the sugar and rum and mix on high for another 30 seconds. Transfer to a piping bag fitted with the tip of your choice. I used a 2D tip.
I simply piped drop flowers onto the pie. Apply pressure to the bag, let a small mound of whipped cream to come out, then twist your wrist and continue piping for another moment to achieve this.
Then I cut my leftover limes into small slivers and placed them onto my whipped cream. Beautiful finishing touches are kinda my thing. NBD...
We had this pie after playing a round of bocce ball in the backyard. I know bocce ball doesn't seem like a physically demanding sport, but I still worked up a good thirst by the time we were done. Instead of grabbing that sugary rum drink, I opted for a slice of pie. It was an excellent decision. This pie is cool, light, tart, and has a nice, subtle hint of coconut thanks to the rum. I simply loved it and how refreshing it was on a hot day. Unlike heavier desserts, this didn't leave me grasping for a huge glass of water. And you can really taste the Malibu in the whipped cream; it gives your tongue that nice little tingle an umbrella drink would to satisfy those summer booze cravings. I may or may not have emitted a small "woo" upon taking the first bite. Hey, I suppose no Woo Girl can ever truly be reformed. Let's just say I'm really happy there's leftover Malibu whipped cream for me to put on all my breakfast fruits for the remaining week. Start the day off with some alcohol-laden calcium, and end it with some delicious Malibu key lime pie, baby! Seriously, this recipe will blow away all your friends and family at your next outdoor gathering this summer. Make the juicing of key limes seem tedious and everyone will thank you for all your efforts, but you and I can keep the secret between us that making this pie is, well, a piece of cake. Or in this case a piece of pie. Really tasty, rum-y pie. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!
You're my new favorite thing about summer.

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