Death by Chocolate Cheesecake

I know of only one person in this entire world that loves a good dessert more than I do--my boss. I take the opportunity to try to out-bake myself for her birthday every year because she deserves a really good birthday treat, and unlike me, she does share dessert. She's a fan of boozy baked goods, specifically Kahlua-based ones, so I came up with what might be my crowning birthday treat achievement: a chocolate Kahlua cheesecake with dark chocolate crust and a Kahlua ganache. That's it. I'll never do one better, so I either need to find a new job or prepare my office for disappointment on her next birthday. This cheesecake is rich--like Royal Family or Bugatti Owner level of richness. You only need a tiny sliver to sate the old sweet tooth for sure...and this is coming from someone with a sweet tooth the size of a grizzly bear.

And, like most rich things, it is both beautiful and demanding.

 I've gotta warn you, it's so hot outside that my sense of humor has burst into flames and died in humid, Florida-laden misery, so remembering this cheesecake fondly is the one thing bringing me joy today. Like most cheesecakes, this is definitely a two-day event to make, so keep in mind if you're giving this recipe a go. I have a 10" springform pan, and this cheesecake is TALL, so I'd say it'd easily yield 20 servings due to how rich it is. You really don't need a large slice to be food-coma ready, and for 20 servings, each slice amounts to 365 calories. Definitely on the higher end of the scale, but most things covered in booze-drizzled chocolate aren't going to be good for your waistline, just your sanity.

Hi, so, dark chocolate Oreos are the greatest thing to be invented since A/C.

The crust recipe for this cheesecake is, in my opinion, the best part of the entire cheesecake. I did not know Oreo made a dark chocolate cookie with dark chocolate filling, and discovering this when I was grocery shopping was like "Columbus discovering the Americas" level of mind blowing for me. I got loads of compliments on the crust--something usually completely overlooked in a cheesecake--so take heed and use these and only these Oreos. To make everything, you need:

• Crust:
• 1 whole package of dark chocolate Oreos (keep the filling in!), crushed in a food processor
• 1/4 cup of melted butter
• Filling:
• 2-3* 8 ounce bricks of 1/3 fat cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup of light sour cream
• 3 eggs + 2 egg yolks
• 1 1/2 cups of Swerve granular
• 3 TBS Hershey's cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 cup Kahlua
• 8 ounces melted semisweet chocolate chips
• Ganache:
• 4 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
• 4 ounces dark chocolate chips
• 2 TBS skim milk
• 2 TBS Kahlua
• Optional: additional chips for decorative topping

 *I am not the hugest fan of cream cheese, so if I were to make this for myself, I would only use 2 bricks of cream cheese. I think this would take the level of richness from "Give me one more forkful and I might explode" to "Oh yeah, I can totally finish that slice if you don't want it." Just a personal preference! This was borderline ridiculously decadent, so pairing down the cream cheese would help.

Altering nothing in the crust though, cause that bad boy is perfect.

Preheat your oven to 325, make sure your racks are adjusted to fit a large roasting pan, and line a springform pan with Parchment paper before spraying heavily with Pam. Set this aside and mix your crushed Oreos and melted butter together in a food processor or blender. Turn out into your prepared pan, using a glass or the bottom of a measuring cup to smooth out evenly.

No soggy bottoms!

 The first time I made a Real, Fancy Cheesecake™, my bottom got soggy in the water bath. To combat this, this time I used a crockpot liner wrapped around my pan with the end secured in a small knot. THIS WORKED. Crust was perfectly dry after baking. Use this genius hack with fervor, friends.

Don't forget the foil.

Still, as a precaution, wrap in a few layers of foil on top of the crockpot liner. Set this aside and make your filling. With the paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese and sour cream together until light and fluffy on medium speed, about three minutes. Add in the sugar, cinnamon, cocoa, and vanilla, and beat on medium speed another 2-3 minutes. Scrape the bowl and then add in the egg and egg yolks, one a time, mixing on low until each one has been completely incorporated to keep excess air from mixing into your batter that could cause it to crack later. While this is going on, melt your 8 ounces of semisweet chips on 60% power for 1 minute. Whisk until completely smooth and set aside to cool for a minute or two. After all the eggs are mixed in, pour in the Kahlua and melted chocolate. Mix slowly until the chocolate has been totally mixed in.

Water bath time!

Now, place that absolutely amazing crust you prepared earlier into a large roasting pan. Pour your cheesecake batter into the springform pan and then add about 4 cups of very hot water into the sides of the roasting pan. Now, place into your oven and bake for 90 minutes, until the top of the cheesecake is still barely jiggly. Yours truly accidentally shut off her oven timer and over-baked the top of the cheesecake, so thank god for ganache. Once your cheesecake has baked for 90 minutes, turn off the oven, slightly crack the door, and leave it in the oven for another hour to finish baking.

Fun story! I'm all thumbs, literally. When I was pulling my finished cheesecake out of the oven, I didn't realize my thumbs in my oven mits were touching the top of the cheesecake because I was trying so hard not to drop the heavy roasting pan. I went from perfectly smooth top to two large cracks because of my gargantuan thumbs (great for thumb wars, terrible for moments like this). And once more I shall say: thank god for ganache--the airbrushing of desserts.

Now, remove your cheesecake from the roasting pan and set on a towel to cool off. While it's cooling, run a sharp knife around the edges of the cheesecake to ensure nothing is sticking to the sides of your pan. Let cool for an hour then wrap with plastic wrap and place in the fridge overnight. I actually ended up putting this in the freezer since I knew I wanted to pour hot ganache on top of it, so you can definitely bake this ahead and freeze it until you're ready to serve or ganache.

It would have been perfect, if not for those damn thumbs.

You don't need to ganache this cheesecake, but trust me when I say you're really gonna miss out on some magic if you don't. Once your cheesecake has rested overnight in the fridge or freezer, remove from the springform pan. I also froze this cheesecake so it would be easy to remove it from the bottom of the springform pan and transfer to a cake round I wouldn't need back.

Prepare for chocolate-palooza!

The next day, set your cheesecake on top of a cooling rack, and be sure there are plenty of paper towels underneath that to catch any spills. Make your ganache by putting 4 ounces semisweet chocolate, 4 ounces dark chocolate, 2 TBS Kahlua, and 2 TBS skim milk in a large bowl. Microwave at 60% power for one minute, then whisk until completely smooth. Pour this into a liquid measuring cup and let rest 3-4 minutes.

And pour, baby, pour!

Pour your ganache all over the top of the cheesecake, using an angled spatula to even it on the top of your cheesecake and push ganache down the sides. Since my cheesecake was frozen, this set VERY FAST, so work quickly. Hindsight--a fridge-chilled or slightly thawed cheesecake would give you a better drip appearance. I was working quickly, so I took a few handfuls of additional chocolate chips and placed a border around the edge of the cheesecake:

A good finishing touch if you're not celebrating a birthday!

This was a pretty accent for sure, but nothing compared to these gorgeous birthday cake toppers I found on Amazon (because they really do have everything).

Consider this my "Everything needs sprinkles on top" moment.

These took the appearance to the next level. I placed this in a cake box and let it chill in the fridge overnight until it was ready to make it's debut for my boss's birthday.

There were actual ooh's and ahh's.

Definitely keep your cheesecake refrigerated until ready to serve! My cake box was way too big to fit in our work fridge, so by lunch time, the cheesecake was softened to a point where pretty, evenly-cut servings were not even remotely possible. The birthday girl may or may not have dug into it with a spoon the moment she opened the box, so there was no reason for the pomp and circumstance of pretty cheesecake slices anyway. I was happy she was happy, and we were all really, really happy to have boozy cheesecake on a Friday after what felt like the longest week ever. I've told you it's supremely filling and that the crust is hands down my favorite crust ever, but let's not forget the unsung, thumb-damage-hiding hero of this dessert: Kahlua ganache. That was the best way to add more booze and really finish off this cheesecake for sure. Servings were had, people. It's a good thing I have another year to try to figure out how to top this extremely rich, incredibly decadent cheesecake...cause I'm gonna be thinking about how yummy it was for a long, long time. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

It screams "for chocoholics only," and I am here for that.