A Lesson in Pumpkin Spice

Up until like four days ago, I was still wearing shorts and flip flops on a regular basis because Florida doesn’t believe in fall. Imagine my delight when a “coolish” front finally pushed through and plunged temperatures into the mid-60s (Floridians refuse to go outside for anything under 70 degrees) with gray skies and plenty of rain. This is my weather—the cooler days without sunshine and plenty of clouds. If it’s raining to boot, I am in my happy place, probably doing one of two things this weather is perfect for: curled up with a book and a dog or working on puzzle while listening to “I’m Only Happy When It Rains” by Garbage. If you’ve known me longer than five minutes, you know this is my favorite band. So as a nerdy pluviophile with great taste in music, these rainy, cold days (it’s 50, hallelujah!) are my comfort weather days. And you know what goes fantastically with comfort weather? Comfort food! Say hello to my only* pumpkin creation of this extremely brief fall season: chocolate pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting and chocolate leaves.

*My husband is not a basic white girl, so he only likes pumpkin spice in moderation. I was afraid “irreconcilable differences” might get thrown around due to my desire to put pumpkin spice in literally everything for the entire month of November. I refrain from over pumpkin spicing for the sake of love.

I wanted a cupcake that had a subtle pumpkin flavor...I guess you could say what I was going for was the opposite of walking into a Starbucks and getting punched in the mouth by a pumpkin spice latte from a barista with mermaid hair named McKenzie, who's wearing leggings as pants and definitely draws hearts over the 'i' anyone's name. I wanted the flavor to slowly wash over the tongue--hints of pumpkin intermingled with chocolate and finished off with a burst of cinnamon cream cheese silk. No offense to anyone named McKenzie, but I was going for "high class pumpkin spice" here. And it was definitely achieved. I can't believe I had never thought to combine chocolate and pumpkin before--much like peanut butter and jelly, these two flavors go together like absolute magic. Nothing's overpowered by pumpkin, just enhanced by it. Seriously, this recipe is so easy and so quick, you really just have to try it yourself to have a full "fall flavor" experience. As usual, saving the best part for last, this recipe makes one dozen cupcakes--each only 200 calories a piece. Which as you know, means I eat them one in each hand. Classy.

Only 5 ingredients from releasing your inner basic-ness...

 You could easily double this recipe for 24 cupcakes, but since I happened to have half a chocolate cake mix leftover from my Halloween cake, and I definitely did not need to eat two dozen cupcakes (I think), this amount was perfect for me while my husband is away for most of the week. To make the chocolate pumpkin cupcakes, all you need is:

• 1/2 box of chocolate cake mix
• 1 egg white
• 5 ounces diet creme soda
• 1 tsp pumpkin spice (seriously, it's the perfect amount--don't over do it!)
• 1/2 cup of canned pumpkin

Preheat your oven to 350 (my fancy new oven does convection baking, so 325 if you have that feature), and mix together all ingredients in your stand mixer for 2 minutes on medium high. Line a muffin tin with cupcake wrappers and gently spray with cooking spray. I only had Halloween cupcake liners on hand, but the color scheme worked perfectly for my tri-colored swirl frosting. Small miracles.

Small, pumpkiny miracles.

 Take a cookie scoop, grease with cooking spray, and plop a scoop and a half into each cup. Tap your tin gently on the counter to release air bubbles, then place into the oven for 15 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out of the center of a cupcake clean. Set your tin on a cooling rack for 10 minutes, then remove the cupcakes from the pan to finish cooling on the rack. Cupcakes cool in record time, so make your frosting and leaves, and they'll be ready by then.

And so worth the wait.

 Making the leaves is probably the most time consuming portion of this endeavor. Since Autumn, or as Americans call it, "Fall. Because leaf fall down," is all about those gorgeous changing of colors, you really should take a few minutes to pipe out some stellar foliage. Unlike real leaves, these are edible, and therefore, worth your time.

Ah, the maple leaf. When piped with chocolate, it looks more like a pot plant. Lesson learned.

 I used *Parchment* and not wax paper in the end for this. But first, I found some leaf templates I liked online, printed them out, and then placed Parchment paper on top of the printouts, so I could easily see the lines I needed to trace.

Told you. That's definitely a pot leaf.

Take 1/3 cup of semisweet chocolate chips and melt on 50% power in the microwave for 1 minute. Stir until smooth, then load into a piping bag fitted with a #3 round tip. Carefully pipe over the templates on your Parchment paper. I made a few extra in case of breakage. Try to make thick lines so your leaves aren't too fragile. I ended up getting to eat my extra leaves because I miraculously was able to leave these alone to set for the proper amount of time while I made my frosting and piped my cupcakes. Seriously...don't touch them once you've piped out the chocolate for at least 20 minutes. Then only gently lift the Parchment sheet and place it in the fridge for your leaves to finish setting, another 15 minutes. Out of sight, out of mind while you make frosting!

Okay, way more than five ingredients here, but worth it for the fall vibe.

For the frosting, you'll need:

• 4 ounces of 1/3 fat cream cheese at room temp
• 1/4 cup of butter at room temp
• 1 cup of Swerve confectioners
• 1 cup of powdered sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 TBS skim milk

I chose to go with cinnamon cream cheese to in order to not pumpkin spice the hell out of my cupcakes, but you could easily swap the cinnamon with pumpkin spice to live up to your Ugg-boot-wearing, vests-with-everything fall potential. I also find the 1:1 ratio of Swerve to powdered sugar gives the best flavor without the cooling effects of Swerve but still with very low calorie content. This frosting is so perfectly flavored and autumnal that it mentally transports me to the fall section of Hobby Lobby with every bite. I'm afraid to *actually* go to Hobby Lobby because I know they're already playing Christmas music even though there's another flipping holiday between now and then...ahem. I digress.

Mix together the cream cheese and butter until well blended, then dump in the sugars, vanilla, and cinnamon. Mix well and add in milk as needed. You want a stiff consistency, and since the cream cheese is so silky, it won't take much milk for perfect piping consistency.

It doesn't seem like much in the recipe, but it makes a Chipotle-burrito-sized amount of frosting, as seen here, with my poor weak hand about to give way under its weight.

Making the three-toned color effect is actually super simple. You need some food-safe paintbrushes (read: paint brushes you've never used with actual paint), red, orange, and yellow gel dye, and a 1M piping tip. Fit a piping bag with your tip, then take turns painting a line of red, a line of orange, and a line of yellow on the inside of your piping bag, being sure to use a different paint brush for each color. I had two stripes of each color (6 stripes total) in my bag, then I carefully loaded up my frosting and piped out a small amount to get the colors going.

Then swirl, swirl away.

I piped a traditional swirl with my 1M tip, allowing all three colors to show up on each cupcake, and giving me a place to put my leaves.

Halloween cupcake liners, you the real MVP.

Each cupcake will have a unique color swirl as the frosting works its way over the dye and out of the bag. I love multicolored frosting because of this. It's like owning a favorite pair of pants in 5 different colors. Same style, but so many possibilities. Magic! ...now we know for sure I've earned my basic white girl-ness without a doubt. I am not proud of the number of colored jeggings I own.

The most maple-y, least pot leafy one of the bunch.

 Once you've frosted and your leaves are TOTAL DRY TO THE TOUCH, take an angled spatula and gently lift the leaves off of the Parchment paper one at a time, placing each on top of a cupcake with the help of the spatula. Don't touch with your fingers, or you will definitely cause some breakage. Unless you've been gifted with cat-like dexterity, anyway.

This was my favorite style. Simple, but effective. Like how every Starbucks barista wishes you'd order in the fall.

 Repeat until you've used all your leaves. Told you, these are quick, easy, and oh dear sweet pumpkin spice baby Jesus, so delicious. It's got the right balance of everything--first you're hit with chocolate, then the pumpkin comes waving in followed by the smooth boldness of the cinnamon cream cheese. I'm running out of adjectives to describe how utterly perfect these are, so just bake them yourself and discover a brand new fall staple. Maybe they help you survive Thanksgiving. Maybe you keep some in your car for Black Friday shopping fuel. Maybe you hide them from your family because they're too good to share. Whatever you decide, you won't regret a single bite. Happy Fall, y'all. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Fall will always be the tastiest.