A Berry Big Deal

 I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but I do look for literally any reason to make a tasty dessert. I really celebrate the day after Valentine's Day when I can procure 15-30 pounds of chocolate for like three bucks. But since I'm still waiting for that glorious day to come, I knew I needed to get on the ball and make a dessert to help me pass the time. Strawberries and Valentine's seem to go hand in hand...here's a piece of fruit that's sweet as and shaped like your heart! Now eat it! And well, I love cheesecake berry much, so it just seemed like if I'm gonna sorta celebrate the day after Valentine's Day, I could celebrate the few days before Valentine's Day with a strawberry cheesecake. At what point do I just admit this is me celebrating Valentine's Day, you ask? After 2020, do we really want hell freezing over? Because that's what it would take...

That would literally be the last straw(berry).

I have several secrets to indulge you with where this cheesecake is concerned. 1. It's got cottage cheese in it. 2. This makes it extremely low in fat and calories. Because 3. I have to have dessert every single night, or I might either die or have terrible nightmares I live in a world where sweets don't exist. Seriously, if you ever hear me say, "No, I don't want dessert," that's code for, "I'm being kidnapped, please help me." And since I load up on sweets but don't want to load up on pants size, I wanted to try using cottage cheese as a replacement for cream cheese. Even if you HATE the stuff (it's a very polarizing food..you either love it, or you hate it with the burning ire of a thousand suns), I can promise you after it is all mixed together, you would have literally zero clue that it's there. Thank the strawberries and sugar for making that possible. But thank the cottage cheese for making this layered strawberry cheesecake only 173 calories a slice for 8 slices total.

Yet somehow, there's even butter in it.

I have a tried and true gluten free graham cracker crust that makes a nice base for either 8-inch pies or cheesecakes. I don't like a crust going halfway up the side of my cheesecake, so this is enough to make a base only. Double this recipe if you like your cheesecake to be mostly crust, you weirdo.

• 3 TBS cold low fat butter, cubed
• 2 TBS monkfruit sweetener
• 1 cup of Kinnikinnick gluten free graham crumbs
• If using regular crushed graham crackers and not GF, add a tablespoon of water

 Throw all these ingredients in a food processor (I have a mini food processor, and it's the perfect size for this recipe), and puree until things get clumpy. 

You're gonna need Pam.

Spray and line an 8-inch springform pan with Pam and Parchment paper. Dump your crust in, and spray your hands liberally with cooking spray because this recipe is STICKY. Press into an even layer and bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes, then remove and place in the fridge to cool.

And get ready to fall in love with cottage cheese. I promise.

For the strawberry cheesecake layer, you need:

• 16 ounces of small curd, low fat or fat free cottage cheese, strained, at room temp
  
• 1/2 cup of monkfruit sweetener
• 1/2 cup of light sour cream at room temp (you could also use Greek yogurt, but strain this, too)
• 3 eggs at room temp
• TBSP vanilla
• TBSP lemon juice

To strain the cottage cheese, place it in a sieve over a bowl and let it drain for at least 3 hours while it comes to room temp. Discard the liquid, then dump your cottage cheese into a food processor and puree it until absolutely zero lumps remain.

Butter wishes it was this smooth, even.

I was multitasking while making my filling. You'll also need to make a strawberry puree. To do this, I used 2 cups of strawberries, tops removed and then berries chopped in half, mixed with 1/4 cup of monkfruit sweetener in a medium sauce pan. I stirred every few minutes, cooking on medium high, for 10 minutes. By then, the strawberries had broken down, so I used a potato masher to complete the job.

My sieves saw a lot of action this day.

Take your puree and pour it over a seive into a bowl. Use a spoon to gently stir and allow the liquid to drip through, leaving any large chunks of berry behind.

Could be liquid-hot magma.

Put the drained puree into the freezer while you work on the rest of your filling. It needs to be completely cooled before using or it will curdle your filling. Nothing says, "Happy Valentine's Day, I love you so much I could just die," like a curdled rotten cheesecake, right? I digress. Now, place your blended cottage cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with a paddle attachment and blend for 2 minutes with the monkfruit sweetener. Then add in the sour cream, lemon juice, and vanilla extract. Blend until incorporated. Add the eggs, one a time, mixing on low so you don't add in too much air (that can cause a cheesecake to crack while baking). Once all your eggs have been added, let it rest for a moment while you preheat the oven to 350 and line your totally cooled springform pan with foil and a crockpot liner to keep it dry during it's spa day in the oven.
 

This way said spa day doesn't give it a soggy bottom. No one wants a soggy bottom. This is Valentine's Day, after all. Giving your loved one a pile of mush won't go over well. You'd need diamonds to rectify that situation...

Pour half of your cheesecake batter into the prepared pan. Once your puree is fully cooled, add it to the remaining filling in your mixing bowl.

Before my hopes had been dashed.

I mixed well, added a little pink food coloring, and hoped dearly that this would layer on top of my batter so I would have white-pink-red layering, but even gingerly pouring one spoonful at a time, it sunk like a stone, so only the middle of the cheesecake is pink. Truly, you would have to go no-bake in order for that layering to work, but I figured it was worth a shot, and even if it didn't pan out, I would still have cheesecake. So you could feel free to dump the puree in with ALL of the cheesecake batter and add a little pink dye and have an entirely pink cheesecake with a red layer on top. It would look totes apropes for V-day. Sorry, my Millennial is showing.

We just love the slang so much.

Now, place your cheesecake into a large roasting pan and add 4-6 cups of VERY STEAMY (also totes apropes for V-day) water into the pan. The water bath allows for even cooking and no cracking. There should be no breaking of anyone's anything on Valentine's Day, especially not the top of their cheesecake! Bake this for 1 hour and 40 minutes at 350 degrees. The center should be wiggly like Jell-o, but the sides should be completely set. Once this is done, turn off the oven and crack the door. Leave the cheesecake in the oven for an additional hour to finish baking.

Remember, nothing says, "I love you," like toiling away on a dessert for 48 hours.

Once that hour is up, run a sharp knife around the edge of the pan and then top with plastic wrap. Place in the fridge for at least 4 hours if not overnight to finish setting. I kinda wish I had made the whole cheesecake that shade of pink...they do call it Millennial Pink after all. Someone help me.

Say Jell-o to my little friend.

For the final layer, the next day I boiled 2 cups of water and added one 0.6 oz packet of sugar free strawberry Jell-o, mixing for two minutes before removing from heat and letting cool to room temp. You do NOT add the cold water called for on the box. It will set without it, and it would be WAY too much Jell-o with the added cold water. You want a thin layer, not several feet of Jell-o to "tunnel of love" your way through to the cheesecake layers.

My cheesecake is wearing a cone of shame.

I took acetate and cut two layers that completely ensconced the cheesecake. Very gently wiggle these or some wax paper into the sides of your pan to keep the Jell-o from overflowing out the side of your springform pan. I still placed my springform on top of a cooking sheet in case it did. This cheesecake was not going to best me a second time, oh no. I'm a "plan to fail" kind of person, apparently. I must be delightful at parties. Never invite me over to anything but a wake.

Suck it, cheesecake!

 Once the Jell-o is cool to the touch, put it into a measuring cup so it is easier to handle. Carefully pour this on top of the cheesecake, then move slowly and very carefully to the fridge. I had several curious dogs to contend with on my path to the fridge, but I'm happy to report we made it without turning my kitchen into a Jell-o covered bloodbath.

Alexa- cue Seal's "Kiss from a Rose."

So, clearly, I put either glitter or some sort of accoutrement best described as "extra," on top of 99% of all my bakes. Here we have no exception. I created strawberry roses with a few leftover strawberries and a small paring knife.

And I knew I had done well when my husband casually strolled through the kitchen with nary an idea what I was doing and said, "Oooohh, nice roses."

I could try to explain how I cut these and somehow didn't lose a finger, but I am instead going to instruct you to view this how-to a much more talented person than I created. Just please come back to me when you're done. I have abandonment issues also fitting of a Millennial. FOMO is still a thing, right?

Some seepage, but not terrible.

I let my Jell-o layer set for about 4 hours before removing the collar of my pan and gently running my paring knife around the edge of the acetate collars to release the cheesecake. A bit of Jell-o made its way down the sides, but there's still at least two distinct layers here, so I'm gonna call it a win.

Plus, those strawberry roses are a show-stopper.

Sung to the tune of Prince's "Raspberry Beret..."
"She wanted strawberry cheesecake, the kind you find in a grocery store."

Well, the inside is a lovely shade of pink, but I didn't get my 3 layers like I had hoped. HOWEVER, I will report that the taste of this cheesecake is OFF THE CHARTS. Taking the time to puree those fresh strawberries was worth it. Jelly or Jell-o alone would not have resulted in such a perfectly sweet balance of the berries with the creaminess of the overall cheesecake. I honestly think using the cottage cheese made this way creamier than cheesecake usually is with cream cheese. There's still a nice bit of tartness with cottage cheese, so you're not missing that without cream cheese either, and the sour cream does add to that as well. It's actually a really fun dessert to eat because you get so many flavors coming together with each bite. The fun wiggle of the Jell-o pairs with the softness of the cheesecake layer, and that graham crust is nice and buttery. Much like any good relationship, these flavors work well together and form an amazing team. My taste buds are now seriously in love, even though they know it will end in heartache when the last slice is finished. Good thing there will be plenty of on-sale chocolates in the pantry by then to nurse its wounds. Rebound chocolate! 'Til next time, my fellow eaters.

You could say it was love at first bite.

I Just Swanna Eat Cake

Well, as I take an introspective look back at my 33rd year on this planet, I guess I'd have to say I am thankful for those three or four times I was able to leave my house in 2020. In all seriousness, it was a rough year for everyone, but as an introvert, 2020 had its perks. I was able to spend most of it in sweatpants hanging out with my dogs, and I didn't even have to open the door when food was delivered to my house. These small miracles kept me going. That and a huge serving of dessert every evening. I've decided to remain cautiously optimistic as we enter 2021 for VERY OBVIOUS REASONS, but there's nothing like having a January birthday that somehow manages to sneak up behind Christmas and punch you in the face when you're not expecting it (getting old is fun). As much fun as the "Ode to My Youth" tombstone cake was, I realized I hadn't made a big fuss over making my own birthday cake since turning 30. I'm pretty important to, well, me, so this year I knew I needed to make a cake that was a swan song to my early 30's because we're rolling straight into the mid's now. Naturally it needed to be heavy-laden with booze to cope.

You're the swan that I want.

This beautiful Swan Lake Cake is a super moist gluten free chocolate made with Skrewball peanut butter whiskey, and by made, I mean positively swimming in it, as swans are wont to do with large bodies of liquid. It's also covered in an exceptionally amazing vanilla Greek yogurt cream cheese frosting, a recipe I am going to be using again and again because sometimes my need to reduce sugar and calories births ideas so crazy they actually work. Enough tooting my own horn (I'm not a goose, after all), this three-tiered cake comes in at only 281 calories a slice (10 slices total); so that's like having a peanut butter Old Fashioned after dinner but more or less in cake form. Oh, and if you hate whiskey? Don't worry. I find whiskey to be the most repulsive beverage in the world and believe drinking straight kerosene would burn less. But there's something about taking whiskey and making it peanut butter flavored that completely changes the game. I absolutely am not a whiskey drinker; but oh sweet Jif-peanut-butter-gods, this stuff is amazing. Give it a shot (or take a few). It lends a rich flavor to the chocolate cake, almost like you're eating a dark chocolate Reese's.  

Pro tip: mix an ounce of Skrewball with an ounce of Chambord for a liquid peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My birthday gift to you.

I have become a Whole Foods junkie. I took my husband with last time I went, more or less to keep me from trying to buy the entire store but also to show him the Whole Foods World- shining, shimmering, splendid. He enjoyed fresh pressed juice, I bought 25 boxes of gluten free cake mix. Their cake mix is the only one I have used that allows me to play with the ingredients, so I cannot guarantee this recipe will work with other gluten free mixes. To make, you need:

• Gluten free chocolate cake mix, Whole Foods brand
• 2 egg whites
• 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
• 3/4 cup Skrewball peanut butter whiskey (if you want to use less whiskey, use 1/2 cup and add 1/4 cup of skim milk; I said Skrew it, and used 3/4 cup of whiskey)

Start by preheating your oven to 350 and greasing three 6-inch round pans, lining with Parchment and bake even strips. Mix all ingredients on low in a stand mixer for 30 seconds before turning to medium-high for another 30 seconds, just until everything comes together. Pour batter into the prepared pans and bake for 24-26 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean. 

Leave your cakes in the pan for 10 minutes to cool before removing from the pan and placing on a cooling rack to completely chill before frosting. I recommend putting in the fridge or freezer to keep crumbs to a minimum when frosting. Now, time to work on that Ugly Duckling! Don't worry, it has a happy ending (I mean, if you don't eat it, anyway).

See, you're beautiful, little swan!

I found an image I liked on Canva, sized it to make sure it wasn't going to be too tiny or huge for my cake, and printed it in mirror images so my swan had two sides to her head. I figured she'd appreciate that. Then I put my design down on a baking sheet and covered with Parchment.

Ahh, playing with chocolate. My happy place.

You will need white, black, and orange Wilton chocolate melts (I find these work the best over other brands). Start by heating your white melts up according to package directions; I used half a bag for the head and feathers. If you have trouble with it seizing up, add a tsp of vegetable oil and it should thin things out again. I put this into a piping bag fitted with a medium-sized round tip (I alternated between a #12 and a #5). I used the larger #12 to flood the neck and most of the head before switching to the #5 to fill in the smaller end of the head close to the beak.

You'll want to use a food safe paint brush, an angled spatula, or a palette knife to smooth the chocolate out and give a little bit of feather-like texture (just make little swirl motions). Place this in the freezer to set for 15-20 minutes.

Now, time to get artsy fartsy.

Put the #12 tip back on your piping bag and lay out like, a lot of Parchment. Gather an angled spatula, large paint brush, and then pipe a really large mound of white chocolate. I used a BIG angled spatula to create my largest feathers by pressing down in the center of the white chocolate mound and pulling in one direction. I pulled this one section out a few times to create a long feather, and I used a paintbrush to give it texture by lightly stroking over the top of the feather. I did this twice for two large feathers, but for the smaller feathers, I used a rounded palette knife:

And took an upside down photo, sorry.

This would also work with a small angled spatula. I used up all of my chocolate creating feathers of various sizes from large to medium to small. I think I had three leftover. You could eat those, but I find chocolate melts to taste even grosser than every whiskey in the world minus Skrewball, so I did NOT include the feathers in the calorie content for this cake. You'd need to add like several bajillion calories to this if you eat the chocolate melt feathers; I'd also recommend a COVID test because if you eat these and don't find them repulsive, I assume you've lost the ability to taste. Whomp, whomp.

Back in black!

Now, let your feathers set up for 30 minutes (I did not bother moving these to the freezer since they were so thin). Grab the swan from the freezer, melt a teeny tiny bit of black chocolate melts, and place in a piping bag with a #2 or #3 round tip. Pipe the top of the beak, then gently use a paintbrush or angled spatula to smooth and make sure the black band is touching the white completely. Let this set for 5-10 minutes; it's a small piece and will dry very quickly.

Plus, the black band keeps it from looking like the worst, most ravenous, violent animal to ever exist: the goose.

You can also draw on eyes with the black melts at this point, but I got distracted by melting a teeny tiny bit of orange chocolate melts and forgot to do this until later. I also put my orange melts into a piping bag with a #2 tip. I carefully filled in the orange part of the beak, using a paintbrush to ensure it was smoothed out and touching the black band.

Stop looking at me, swan!

Now, let your pretty, graceful swan (in your face, man-eating goose) set up completely before handling. While this and the feathers are drying, you can make a REVOLUTIONARY frosting. Seriously, it's probably going to be the best thing I do all year, and we're only 10 days into 2021 (though it feels more like 100).

Apparently I don't have high hopes for this year. Go figure.

I found a delicious vanilla Chai Greek yogurt by Wallaby Organic at, you guessed it, Whole Foods. I wanted to try making a cream cheese frosting that wasn't filled with butter and powdered sweetener, and this truly fits the bill. To make:

• 8 ounces reduced fat cream cheese at room temp
• 1 cup (about 1 1/2 of these 5.3 ounce Wallaby brand containers) of vanilla or plain Greek yogurt, no sugar added (important) and kept cold; I went with a low-fat variety, but a full-fat variety would be even thicker
  
• 1 TBS Skrewball
• 1 tsp CLEAR vanilla (it's a pristine white swan, not a dirty, evil goose, so go with clear)
• 1-1 1/2 cups of Lakanto powdered monkfruit

Trial and error time! I only used one container of yogurt, and this frosting was very loose. I did NOT need to pipe with it, but if I did, next time I would use two containers. I would also strain them overnight (place yogurt in a strainer, on top of bowl, and keep in the fridge overnight to rid it of excess liquid). You can add in more powdered sweetener if things are still too thin.

But I found 1 1/2 cups of Lakanto was still firm enough to hold on to my beaters, so this was all I needed.

Start by whipping the cream cheese until fluffy, 3-4 minutes. Then add in the yogurt, Skrewball, vanilla, and one cup of powdered sweetener. Mix well, and if things are too loose, add in another 1/2 cup of powdered sweetener to thicken things up. It should be able to hold on to your beaters, or it'll slide right off your cake.

A peanut butter whiskey Oreo..I need this to be a thing.

Work fast with this frosting since it needs to stay cold. Place a cake round face down on a cake board and slather a layer of frosting down before placing the second cake round face down on top of this.

A Double Stuf peanut butter whiskey Oreo *drooling*

Slather frosting on top of this before adding the final cake round on top. Then go wild and cover the entire cake with frosting--be sure to save a little bit to stick your swan heads together and to adhere the feathers to the sides of the cake.

And get swirly.

I used a rounded palette knife (this thing saw a lot of action for this bake), and I gently swirled little S's all over the top and sides of the cake to give it texture. Swan feathers have texture, so just go with it.

Now comes the fun, yet slightly terrifying part.

So, pretend you're handling a baby hummingbird, Monarch butterfly, or something else that's way more delicate than it should be (like my feelings), and gently, ever so gently, peel your dried feathers off the Parchment. Place the largest feathers on the bottom of each side of the cake. I used a little dollop of frosting to really help things stick.

Is it a cake or an exploding marshmallow?

Things will look strange and very abstract before you add the head. But basically, stick feathers from largest on the bottom to smallest on the top only on the sides of the cake. Now, you will need to carve a shallow hole out on the very front of the cake in order to have somewhere to put the swan head.

Again, pretend you're trying not to hurt my feelings. Be gentle.

Very gingerly slide the head into that little carved out space. I found it helpful to "glue" my swan heads together with the last of my frosting, then I held the neck since it was the thickest/most heavy duty section and carefully pushed this end into the cake--I held the cake board with one hand and the base of the swan's neck with the other to do this.

IT'S SWANDERFUL!

I have no doubt this will be the cutest cake I make all year. It's on point with my flamboyance of drunken flamingos I made last summer.

However, the swan is much classier and clearly can hold her booze better than those flamingos.

Definitely keep this cake in the fridge until you're ready to serve it, and for however long it lasts (it won't be long). Since the frosting is like 87% dairy, you don't want it to curdle and give everyone that eats it the 2021 version of the plague.

I know she looks unassuming, but she could go goose-dark at any moment if you leave her out too long.

Seriously, I HATE whiskey (and geese, apparently). Truly. I would rather go to the dentist than be forced to take of shot of any whiskey in the world except for Skrewball. It's great over ice, mixed into an Old Fashioned, but best enjoyed, in my humble opinion, in cake. And since it's MY birthday dessert, you're going to have to appease me and agree. Because I just swanna eat this delicious cake. It is so chocolately, and that vanilla cream cheese is the perfect amount of sweet and tangy thanks to the Greek yogurt. A forkful of each is enough to give me 5 seconds of uninterrupted pure happiness. My actual birthday was a little rough since my sweet baby Frey was having a mast cell tumor removed from her back leg, so the well wishes and cake definitely helped me cope. I am hoping she makes a  full, speedy recovery and is back to begging me to drop pieces of cake and other baked goods on the floor again soon. I'm definitely not sharing crummies since its 1. A chocolate cake, and 2. Too good to share anyway. This cake is the swan for me. Did I turn 34 or into a dad? God these swan puns are terrible. I'm swanstoppable. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

She's too polite to tell me to stop making awful jokes.

Let It Snow or Let It Go?

 Picture it: a glorious 48-hour window in Florida where the humidity was below 50 percent, and the temperature was low enough I could finally turn the air conditioner off. Winter was so beautiful while it lasted, but as it snow happens, the A/C is back on, and I've returned to a general existence best described as "sweaty and wondering if there's space to live in the freezer." While winter may have literally only lasted two days here, it was long enough to inspire me to bake a cake in honor of one of my all-time favorite winter adult beverages, the Moscow Mule. There are some people who think this is a summer drink, but they're wrong. Anything served in a hammered copper mug screams, "I want to make your hand as cold as the outside temperature," therefore making it a winter beverage (told you snow). While this cake won't freeze your fingers, it will make your insides all warm and fuzzy, and we can thank the vodka for that.

I inadvertently made a Frozen cake. Please don't let Disney sue me. I'll eat the evidence.

I kinda wanted to go for "ugly Christmas sweater meets winter wonderland" with my design, and it accidentally turned into Elsa's birthday cake...after texting my sister this picture, I am assured by her that this cake passed the Frozen test from my niece, so I guess if you're looking for a Frozen-themed cake that you can throw together in a day that also allows you to drink copious amounts of vodka while you bake it and listen to your children scream-sing "Let It Go" at the top of their lungs for the 56th time in a day, this is the cake for you! Although, you might want to leave the vodka for adult beverages unless you're trying to get a group of 7 year olds accidentally drunk off cake (it could either make the singalong better or much, much worse). In either instance, this is a DELICIOUS cake that truly tastes like the solid form of a Moscow Mule...plenty of ginger flavor, hints of crisp vodka, and sweet yellow cake undertones. And at only 267 calories a slice (10 slices total), you can rest assured this will not be the holiday dessert that does your diet in. Save that for eggnog. 

If you don't buy your vodka from Texas, I assume you also purchase tortillas made in Ohio. Shame on you.

The base recipe for this cake is super simple for some extremely tasty results. You need:

• 1 box of yellow cake mix (I used Whole Foods gluten free yellow cake mix)
• 2 egg whites
• 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 1 TBS lime zest
  
• 1/2 cup of ginger beer (I use Zevia Mixer 0 calorie ginger beer)
• 1/4 cup of goooood vodka (not Smirnoff; something classy like Deep Eddy or Grey Goose)
• 2 TBS fresh squeezed lime juice
  

Preheat your oven to 350 and line three 6-inch round pans with Parchment paper, cooking spray, and throw on bake even strips. Place all your ingredients into a stand mixer, blending on low for 30 seconds and then turning to medium high just until everything comes together--the gluten free cake mix said to stop the second that happens, and since I've had trouble ground testing just about every gluten free cake mix under the sun even when following directions, I listened. It took Whole Foods to make a gluten free cake mix that actually bakes and tastes like regular cake, and for that, we are thankful as we cringe slightly during checkout ($$$). 

Evenly spread cake batter in the three pans, and bake for 24-26 minutes at 350 until a toothpick comes out cleanly from the center of each round.

Blonde and full of vodka! There's a parallel here to me in my 20s...

Let the cakes cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to cool completely on a cooling rack. Now, let's gather up the tools you need in order to make a buttercream transfer onto the SIDE of a cake. I like to overachieve...buttercream transfers on top of a cake are so 2017. Since quarantine and COVID have clearly made me lose my mind, my cake baking and decorating plans are getting pretty wild.

Ha, THREE KINDS OF SPRINKLES. Yep, I'm a mad woman.

You're going to want acetate cake collars in order to do a side transfer, as well as a bench scrape or fondant smoother, angled spatula, small paintbrushes, and some Parchment paper. I'll get into detail about piping tips and gel dyes here in a bit.

But first, more vodka.

Did I mention the buttercream frosting is also its own Moscow Mule? Because it is. I told you, warm and fuzzy. Real warm. And real fuzzy. To make, you need:

• 1 cup of light butter at room temp
• 4 1/2 cups of Lakanto powdered monkfruit
• 1 tsp clear vanilla
• 1 TBS vodka
• 2 TBS ginger beer
• 1 TBS lime juice
• Navy gel dye
  

Whip the butter until soft, then add in half of the powdered monkfruit, the vanilla, and the vodka. Blend until well mixed, then add in the remaining powdered monkfruit, ginger beer, and lime juice. Now, grab those cooled cakes!

And prepare for something I never do..

Yeah, you definitely have to crumb coat this cake so the transfer has something to hold on to. I NEVER crumb coat since I usually frost on frozen cake rounds, so I used absolutely every iota of frosting made on this cake. Which meant I had none leftover to eat alone with a spoon, and that makes me sad.

Because the whole point of eating cake is for the frosting.

I digress...place your first cake layer face down on a cake board, then slather a large helping of frosting on top, evening out before you add the second cake layer, also face down, on top. Add more frosting to this.

I just wanted to pick it up and eat it like a burger at this point.

Place the final cake layer face down on the top, and then grab a measuring tape. You need to know how tall and how big around your cake is to make your transfer later. Write these measurements down, then slather a thin layer of buttercream over the entire cake.

I mean, this is pretty, too. I'd serve this.

I do love a good naked cake, but in this instance, smooth out the top as best as you can and make sure there's a nice thin layer all over the sides of the cake. Now, it's time for sprinkles!

And that's when you know I mean business.

For the cake topper, I cut out a very simple snowflake design and placed it on the center of my cake, pushing down to ensure none of the edges weren't essentially "glued" to the top.

Then, I got wild with TWO different kinds of sprinkles. Spreading them all over the top of the cake.

Do this until there's a nice layer of sprinkles on top and no white frosting is showing. Gently press the sprinkles into the top of the cake and wipe excess off of the snowflake template so it's easier to remove later.

Now, I left my template on top of the cake so the sprinkles could settle while my frosting set in the fridge for an hour while I worked on my buttercream transfer. You do want your cake to be totally chilled before applying the transfer, so make sure your buttercream has time to crust up for at least 30 minutes in the fridge.

Now, time to trace!

I used Canva to make my own winter scene, knowing my cake was a little over 3 inches tall and about 18 inches around. You can Google "simple winter scene," "winter template," etc., to find a good design without Canva. I cut the acetate to about 20 inches to give some overhang for handling, and then I cut Parchment paper the same size and 3 inches high. I copied my template onto the Parchment paper.

Blinded by the shine.

Then I taped my Parchment paper behind my acetate. I loaded up a piping bag with a #3 round tip, and piped my deer and snowflakes. I used a small paintbrush to press the piping into a smooth and even layer so there were no gaps in the flakes or deer outlines.

Sadly, the snowflakes would melt on me, just like my hopes for a real winter in Florida.

As cute as they were, the snowflakes were too small and would not stay stuck to the acetate when I added the final layer of frosting. The ended up getting lost in my background layer and kind of melting in. I'd recommend using large details only for side transfers. A cool pattern of colors or bigger figures like the deer work well. I piped the snowy bottom of the scene using a #12 round tip, and then I placed this on a huge cookie sheet, taped the edges down to keep them from curling, and put it into the freezer for 1 hour to set up. While this was chilling, I dyed my remaining frosting a navy blue shade. I put it into another piping bag fitted with a #12 tip.

Then held my breath.

It's been ages since I'd done a buttercream transfer, but covering up the "picture" is always a hope for the best situation.

A sea of panic...

Once I had covered the entire collar with my navy blue background, I first used a large paintbrush to gently spread the frosting and ensure no gaps/white space remained.

Smooth like buttah.

Then I used an angled spatula to very gently smooth out the frosting. I probably should have used a little more pressure since I had some issues with air pockets/holes in the final design, but live and learn.

You're gonna need extra hands.

Take your chilled cake out of the fridge, and with the help of someone else, take the transfer you just finished smoothing (not chilled after), and gently lift and place the acetate collar on the cake. It helps to start in the middle and each person presses their end of the collar around the cake firmly.

Pretty sure I had been holding my breath for a solid 5 minutes at this point.

Then, take the Parchment off and use a bench scraper or fondant smoother and run it around the cake collar several times to ensure everything is adhering to the cake. Now, place this in the freezer for at least 15 minutes. I went with 30. Then you can remove the acetate collar carefully once the frosting is set.

Ahh, love at frost sight. Time to finish the top!

Once you've removed the acetate collar, you can use a sharp knife to trim down the edges at the top. I used my remaining frosting in a piping bag with a #21 star tip to create a star border on top of these edges, and added in some snowflake sprinkles. Then I carefully removed the snowflake template to reveal a pristine snowflake (you could very easily reverse the template and have the opposite effect, too, with the snowflake cutout and the glitter inside of it).

Oh, deer. It's snowing out.

Since my snowflakes more or less melted on me, I added regular snowflake sprinkles to my design to give those deer something to look at.

Obsessed with the top of this cake...maybe Elsa was onto something...

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas (not a white sandy beach...Florida.).

Well, it may be too warm for flannel or ugly Christmas sweaters outside, but at least my dessert tastes and looks seasonally appropriate. This is probably the only snow I'm going to see this winter to boot, but I'm not even that sad because I am in LOVE with the flavors of this cake...sweet buttercream frosting with a zip of ginger in each bite, a hint of vodka, and tons of delicious, soft yellow cake swimming underneath. A good cake heals most winter-related depression (or absence-of-winter-related depression in my case). We had a slice last night with a side of actual Moscow Mule to drink, and it was an amazing experience...where the cake ended and the drink began was absolutely seamless, and that's how dang good it is. You could say it's snow laughing matter how yummy this cake is. While it's been *a year,* I have enjoyed baking every month, and can't wait to try out new techniques in 2021. Here's to sleighin' it all season. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

This cake wins Best in Snow 2020.