A Different Kind of Spring Roll

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. My name is Kate, and I am insane. For years (I'm not even kidding--at least five years), I have tried to master the art of making a roll cake. I would come up with an awesome idea, pattern, flavor, etc., and without fail, 98% of the time, they would completely fall apart when I tried to roll them up in a towel or unroll to frost them no matter how many different approaches, tips, and techniques I tried. The other 2%? Cake roll turns out visually PERFECT but tasted like I'd imagine a running shoe would taste like: all rubbery and absolutely disgusting. But since I refuse to be bested by a baked good, I tried for the 1,947th time to make a roll cake. I cried actual tears when I finally managed to make a roll cake that, well, rolled, wasn't split into 16 different pieces, and also actually tastes like a cake and not a pair of Nikes.

It's a spring roll...get it?

This cake is positively blooming with lemon flavor. Something about springtime brings up lemon flavor associations in my mind...these thoughts then take a roundabout path that end up with me wanting a giant lemonade from Chick-fil-a only to realize, of course, it's Sunday, the only day of the week you ever want Chick-fil-a because you can't have it. At least I have this lemon cake that is bursting with enough spring-color-palette bliss that it reminds me of Peeps. But unlike those marshmallow? (questionable) creations, this is actually edible. Since it's a cake roll, it is a pretty springy (seriously, no pun intended I SWEAR), light, airy cake filled with lemon flavor, but my absolute favorite part (that I finally get to share with you since this recipe didn't turn into a flaming pile of my broken hopes and dreams) is the filling. It's my new take on cream cheese frosting with a secret ingredient that cuts down on fat and calories in a major way: Greek yogurt. But it doesn't taste like sour cream gone bad (get it together, plain Greek yogurt); it is blended in with ingredients that make this a yummy, creamy filling that also holds stiffly enough that you can pipe decorations with it. Added bonus? Each slice of this heavenly Easter-eqsue lemon cake roll is only 209 calories (8 slices total). You will need to make your frosting ahead of time, so scroll down after the cake recipe to learn why and how.

You'll have 95 cups of buttermilk leftover, though. Grease that waffle iron or pancake griddle...

I don't usually do from scratch recipes because I am lazy and follow the "work smarter not harder" approach to life. But with the increasingly high number of cake fails I've experienced with cake rolls (I still taste shoe rubber when I think of the last one), I decided to find a base recipe and experiment with extracts only. Happy to report the following recipe worked expertly and tastes phenomenal, so, ya know, roll with it:

• 1 cup of flour (I used King Arthur's gluten free flour)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 4 eggs at room temp
• 3/4 cup of Lakanto granular monkfruit sweetener or regular sugar
• 2 TBS vegetable oil
• 2 TBS buttermilk
• 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp lemon extract
• Gel dyes: I used Americolor electric green, teal, electric blue, electric purple, and electric pink. All together, a shockingly good spring/Easter color palette.
  

Egg-scuse me, that was a terrible pun. So was that, but I apologize for nothing. You want the recipe? You gotta deal with my bad dad jokes. Preheat your oven to 350 and prepare a 10x15 jelly roll pan with Parchment paper sprayed with cooking spray. 

In a bowl, mix the flour and baking powder together; set aside. In a stand mixer with paddle attachment, whip the eggs on medium-high for 4 minutes until fluffy and pale yellow. Turn the mixer speed to low, add the sugar slowly, and let it fully incorporate. Add in the oil, buttermilk, vinegar, and extracts, followed finally by the dry flour mix a little at a time. You don't want to over mix since you need to color the batter later, so just mix on low until everything comes together. 

Divide batter into 5 small bowls (I used 1/2 cup of batter in each bowl). Dye each your springtime colors of choice (if it isn't neon, really pink, or annoyingly yellow, is it actually a spring cake?). Much like my rainbow bundt cake, you'll use every bowl and spoon in your kitchen, so thank God for dishwashers.

I know it might sound odd, but neon pink is such an obnoxious color that I absolutely love it.

Now, once you've dyed all your batter, add each color to its own piping bag or a plastic bag.

And prepare to turn everything in your kitchen into a neon disaster of Meow Wolf proportions.

You might want to put some paper towels down so you don't dye your kitchen counters to match those Easter eggs you were working on with your kids (I assume this is still a thing people do, ponders Lady No-Kids). Grab that prepared pan, and snip the tips off the piping or plastic bags. I alternated diagonal stripes of lime, teal, blue, purple, pink:

While giddily giggling at how blindingly bright this cake was going to be. I really wanted it to scream SPRING IS HERE, and I think you could probably see these colors from space, so, mission achieved.

I used an angled spatula to gently smooth each color after I piped it so that there were no gaps between colors and the batter was spread evenly for baking. Be sure to wipe the spatula clean between each color.

I get a strange yearning to find all my old Lisa Frank memorabilia looking at this.

Next time, I would make my stripes thinner so more of them show once the cake is rolled up. Alternatively, you could do horizontal stripes as well. Once you've filled the pan, gently tap it on the counter a few times to release air bubbles. Bake at 350 for exactly 12 minutes. I added an extra minute because it still felt a little too spongy, and I had cracking issues in some places. I definitely attribute this to the bake time because the thinner areas where I didn't do as good of a job evenly distributing batter were the areas that cracked. So be careful to really evenly spread the batter and not to over bake by even 1 minute...this is the Mariah Carey of cakes--total diva. Had I pulled the roll out at 12 minutes, it definitely would've been spongy enough to be malleable all over for rolling.

Seriously, this is so neon it hurts to look at for more than 10 seconds at a time. *It's perfect.*

Rewind a bit, and while your cake is still baking in the oven, throw down a tea towel and dust the ever-loving-heck out of it with powdered sugar on both sides. This will keep the cake from sticking to the towel. There will be powdered sugar covering everything in your kitchen no matter how many paper towels or how much wax paper you put down, so prepare for it to look like a drug deal went very wrong. White powder EVERYWHERE. Now, the SECOND that cake comes out of the oven after 12, not 13 minutes, put the tea towel on top of it, then put a cooling rack on top of that, face down. With the aid of some pot holders, flip all this over together. 

It's like a very hot, potentially burn-y circus act to get this out of the pan.

Remove the pan, which is now on top of everything, very carefully so you don't burn yourself, or worse, hurt the cake. It may be a very demanding cake, but it is otherwise perfectly innocent. Carefully, slowly, gingerly, incredibly nimbly, roll the cake up in the towel starting from the short side (left to right, not top to bottom, based on the position of my cake above).

Don't forget to breathe in there somewhere, too.

Congratulations, you've made it 75% of the way. I assume performing surgery is easier than making a cake roll, but I might be off base. Let the cake cool completely to the touch while in the towel on top of cooling rack. Don't move it to the fridge or freezer; you don't want it to dry out at all. If you blast it with cold air, it will, and then when you try to unroll it, it will crumble. Trust me, I've done this about 2,700 times, and every time I put my roll in the fridge to chill, it absolutely crumbled apart.

Yes, you need specialty spring sprinkles. It's simply a required aesthetic aspect to compliment how unbeliveably neon this cake is.

Guys, put your feelings about Greek yogurt aside. I absolutely refuse to eat plain Greek yogurt, but the flavored stuff is aces. I prefer Two Good or Dannon Light+Fit flavors, but your favorite brand will work. You want to get started on this the day before you bake because you need to strain your yogurt overnight. To make:

• 8 ounces/226 grams strained vanilla or lemon Greek yogurt (I used vanilla)
• 8 ounces of 1/3 less fat cream cheese at room temp
• 2 TBS powdered monkfruit or powdered sugar
• 2 tsp vanilla
• Optional: 1 tsp lemon extract (I didn't, but really wish I had added this because I love lemon flavor)
• Not even remotely optional: these adorable Easter sprinkles 

 

Yogurt Straining 101

Yogurt straining is super simple, it just takes awhile. In order to make a pipe-able, stiff frosting, you'll need to do this. Put a sieve over a bowl, and put either cheesecloth, a coffee filter, or a thin layer of really durable paper towels (I used two sheets of Viva folded in half) in the sieve. Then plop your yogurt in this, cover with plastic wrap, and let drain overnight in the fridge.

The next day, beat the softened cream cheese in a stand mixer until light and fluffy, around 3 minutes. Add the yogurt, blending on medium high until everything comes together. Add the powdered monkfruit and the extracts, and finish mixing. Now, pray to whatever deity you believe in because it's time to unroll your cake.

Once the cake is cool to the touch, very slowly unroll it from the kitchen towel. Use 2/3 of the frosting to slather on the top of the cake. Once you have a nice thick layer of frosting, this helps to hold things together in the event of any cracking (There will be cracking. There will always be cracking). Slowly roll the cake back up, using the towel to help guide you along the way. I would roll a small section, carefully ply the towel away from the cake, roll again, and repeat until my cake was in a solid roll with minimal cracks (i.e., it was in 1 piece and not 7).

An Easter miracle! Wait...

Hindsight here is my only cake roll plate is fall-themed. Fall is the best season, so it stands to reason I'll have to use this recipe again in a few months. Until then, let's think of this as a "Gathering of the Seasons."

Fall leaves and neon spring hues definitely do not go together.

Now that you've survived the hardest part of making a cake roll, have some fun and decorate that electric beauty. I used a 2D tip and the rest of my frosting to pipe large mounds down the middle of the cake, then came back in to pipe small flowers beside each mound. Naturally, I finished with sprinkles, as is always the case.

Because they're freakin' delightful, people.

Cake plate aside, I am so happy with how this looks.

The inside is absolutely adorable to boot.

Few times in my life have I felt more relief than when a cake roll finally turned out right after a million failed attempts. It was a large baking victory, and I stand by it!

You can definitely trim the ends to give it a cleaner look for presentation, but after the anxiety and breath holding, you'll probably be ready to take a nap or drink a stiff beverage once you're done piping and sprinkling. Plus, trimmed ends = wasted cake, and we just can't have that. I wish I had used a bit more filling so the color layers were separated better, but there's always next time. I assume my next cake roll will end up being an utter nightmare, so I'm just basking in the glow of this cake...which is completely possible thanks to those electric neon hues it's giving off. I am eagerly awaiting my next slice. 

These are also the best tasting sprinkles I have ever had, and that's saying something because I have an entire pantry shelf devoted to sprinkles.

After a few heavier cake bakes, this roll and the lemon flavor are so refreshing. It's nice to eat a slice of cake and feel somehow lighter? But that could also just be the years of cake roll fails falling off my soul. Either way, this recipe is delicious, and that yogurt cream cheese frosting is an absolute game changer. Whatever cake flavor- strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, caramel, blueberry, you get the point, there's a Greek yogurt in the same flavor that you can make your cream cheese frosting with. I'm already plotting out how to use it in my next bake. Until then, this colorful springtime beauty is all I need. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter next Sunday! If you bring this cake roll to your family gathering, you will make the Easter Bunny look like an absolute chump. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

That's all, yolks!

Taste the (Boozy) Rainbow

 A year ago, I was gearing up for St. Patrick's Day with this gorgeous striped shamrock cake when the world more or less ended (probably should've made that clover cake topper a 4-leafer). I had never comfort eaten cake like that before, but it became a pretty regular occurrence thereafter in 2020. Here we are, March 2021, and I decided this year's festive holiday bake needed to be bolder, brighter, and, well, boozier. Because after the past 12 months, I needed a solid reminder that good still exists, and in this case, it's in the form of a Baileys salted caramel bundt cake the colors of the rainbow.

Also appropriate because much like the rainbow, I am over it.

I know, for someone whose wardrobe is black with a dash of more black, this is a really vibrant, colorful choice. I kinda felt like a rainbow might be a mood lifter, and if that didn't do the trick, the copious amount of Baileys in this recipe definitely would. I am happy to report that I was correct on both counts! This cake is swimming in delicious salted caramel flavor thanks to the Baileys both in the cake and in the glaze on top. It also delights me greatly every time I open the fridge and see this little cakey rainbow waiting for me to eat it (note: I don't have a slice every time I open the fridge. But I want to, because YUM). Somewhere over the rainbow, Florida swimsuit season is a mere 10 days away, and this will only run me 247 calories a slice for 12 slices total...a Saint Patrick's Day miracle!

This recipe is definitely my lucky charm.

I will admit this is a very dense cake...it's more like a Bailey's sweet bread with glaze on top. If you prefer a lighter forkful, follow my recipe recommendations below to give your cake more spring. To make, you'll need:

• 1 box of yellow cake mix (I use Whole Foods gluten free yellow cake mix)
• 1 box of sugar free instant vanilla pudding*
  
• 2 eggs at room temp
• 3/4 cup + 2 TBS of either regular or salted caramel Baileys
• 1/4 cup skim milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
  
• 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
• 1/4 cup of butter at room temp*
• Gel dyes in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple
  

*I wanted to see if these two additions would make a moister cake since gluten free mixes can get a little dry. I would omit both of these next time to make a cake with a lighter, more traditional texture. Don't get me wrong, the flavor these bring to the cake overall are awesome, but I prefer a lighter texture for my desserts. With the current density, I do feel pretty comfortable eating this cake as a sweet breakfast bread though, so there's that. Do rainbows have silver linings? Because this one does.

Start by preheating your oven to 350 and grease a bundt cake pan very well. In a bowl, whisk the eggs, vanilla, milk, and Baileys, and set aside. In your stand mixer, blend the applesauce and butter together (skip this step if not adding butter, just dump the applesauce in your mixer bowl). Add the pudding mix and 1/3 of the cake mix to the stand mixer, blending on low until it begins to combine with the applesauce/butter. You can scrape the bowl as you go, and add in 1/3 of the liquid mix. Blend, add 1/3 more dry mix, scrape the bowl, add 1/3 more liquid, etc. until everything is in the bowl, mixed together on low speed. Try not to over mix since you have to dye your batter and mix it around more later.

Get ready to Roy G. Biv it.

You'll need every bowl you have in your house and potentially even your neighbor's, but, worth it, I promise. A technicolor dreamcoat of a cake requires a little extra effort. Split your batter evenly into 6 bowls. With my gluten free cake mix (which is a little less than a typical cake mix), I was able to scoop 2/3 cup into each bowl.

Let's take a moment to appreciate my new phone's camera. It's fabulous.

Dye each bowl a different color, obviously, so be careful cleaning spoons, or be lazy like me and use 6. Work smarter, not harder.

Maybe this cake should've been Skittles flavored. Does anyone make Skittles vodka?

Now, take either piping bags or plastic bags, and fill your batter one color in each bag. You'll want to snip your piping bag or plastic bag so there's a medium-sized opening. Grab that prepared pan and small spatula.

Seriously, this is an unedited photo. LOOK AT THAT COLOR. Gah, I really was taking photos with a potato of a phone before this.

Start with your red, and pipe circles into the bundt pan. Smooth these out with your spatula.

Truly, I hate the color orange. It makes me angry, and I'm not sure why. Was I accidentally hit on the head with multiple oranges as small child?

Now, carefully pipe the orange on top of the red. Using gentle pressure with the spatula, smooth this batter out so that it is completely covering the red. You don't want them to mix together, so use a light hand.

Also not a big fan of yellow, so maybe a whole fruit basket fell on my head?

Above is before I've smoothed out my batter, so you have a better idea of what to "go for..." A.k.a., a concentric hot mess.

Thank god that spatula smooths things over.

Repeat with the green, blue, and finish with the purple. Give your pan a few gentle taps on the counter to get rid of any bubbles, but not so hard your layers start to mix together. Bake this at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes. A toothpick should come out cleanly when it's done.

Honestly, should've layered this backwards because it is a true tragedy the purple is hidden on bottom.

Leave your cake in the pan on top of a cooling rack for 10 minutes. Then run an angled spatula around the edges and the center of the bundt pan. I place the cooling rack on top of the pan and then flip everything over at the same time to release my cake.

"Rainbow Brite, see the shining light..." If you're over 30, appreciate that moment of childhood zen.

Guys, it's so colorful I kinda want to a die a little. And this is only the OUTSIDE. The inside is truly something Rainbow Brite herself would be envious of because it is fabulous. Now, I placed my cake inside the fridge to chill for 30 minutes before I made my glaze and eyed my baking Baileys.

What? Half the booze in our house is for drinking, the other half is for baking.

This glaze is super duper simple, which, after spending an hour becoming a color mixing master, is something you'll truly appreciate. You need:

• 1 cup of powdered monkfruit or sugar
• 1/2 TBS skim milk
• Oh look, more Baileys! I used 2 TBS, you could definitely do 2 1/2 and skip the milk, but I am lightweight
• Super rad St. Paddy's Day sprinkles (I found mine on Amazon)

Dump the sugar, Baileys, and milk together and whisk until completely smooth. If you think things are too thick, try adding a tsp of milk or Baileys at a time. I put my glaze into a liquid measuring cup once my consistency was thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

It also helps to have everything close by. Glaze sets quickly, so work fast to add sprinkles.

Clearly, sprinkles are NOT optional in my book, so once I poured my glaze all over the top of the cake, I quickly added sprinkles on top:

Gotta let the leprechaun represent in there somewhere! Cute little shamrockin' sprinkles will do the trick.

Irish I had more cake...

Now, let everything set up in the fridge for a couple hours before slicing. Keep it in the fridge until it is all devoured since there's dairy in the glaze.

So magically delicious.

If you ever wanted to eat a piece of cake whose pure existence just radiates joy and flair, this is definitely the cake for that. I realize most rainbows lead to a pot of gold, and in 2021, I hope that pot also contains a COVID vaccine so we can get back to regularly scheduled St. Patrick's Day shenanigans by 2022. At least I have this cake to help me cope with being a shut-in for a while longer! Anything that tastes of salted caramel Baileys in each bite is a blissful escape from reality. That glaze is nice and sweet but finishes smooth and rich thanks to the Baileys, and it's a nice little kick of flavor paired with the cake itself. It may be a dense bake, but that makes it no less delicious! I'm definitely making this again because Baileys makes everything better. I hope however you're celebrating Saint Patrick's Day, you're safe, happy, and full of Baileys cake. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

I'm not sharing though, so you're gonna have to bake your own...

Mint to Be

 There are some people in this world that hate chocolate and mint together. They're wrong. Mint and chocolate together, to me, are only rivaled by peanut butter and chocolate together, and that's just because I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with both. I absolutely love when March comes around since St. Patrick's Day is the perfect opportunity to add mint and chocolate together. Sometimes with Baileys. Sometimes with Guinness. Sometimes even just with more mint and more chocolate. Such is the case with my first St. Patrick's Day dessert this year, it was simply mint to be.

Also, it's aesthetically pleasing to join green and brown together in a food without it looking like a pile of weird, potentially moldy goop.

These mini Andes mint cheesecakes are a handful (literally) in terms of flavor. A buttery Oreo crust is topped with a mint cheesecake hiding little bits of Andes pieces and adorned with a nice thick layer of chocolate ganache. Every layer is its own form of taste bud heaven, and that rich chocolate flavor from the top and bottom somehow still lets the mint cheesecake flavor take center stage. It's decadent and refreshing all at the same time, and they're only 205 calories per cheesecake. This recipe makes 15 mini cheesecakes total, so you can share if you're nice; or you can hoard them like a leprechaun and his pot of gold. It'll be holiday-appropriate selfishness, so you do you.

Everyone around you will be green with envy, naturally.

I was adapting a recipe, excited because I was getting mint chocolate, and totally forgot to pay attention to how I always prefer to blind bake cheesecake crusts, and I paid for it, y'all. So don't be me. Remember to always blind bake your cheesecake or pie crusts before filling them so they'll be nice and crisp and not soggy...consider this my encourage-mint to you to be a better baker! For the crusts, you'll need:

• 15 Oreos (I would prefer the mint Oreos, but they do not have them available gluten free, so I went with regular)
• 2 TBS Lakanto classic monkfruit sweetener 
• 4 TBS low fat butter, melted

Combine all ingredients in a large food processor or blender...I used my Ninja blender, chopping on high until everything was a fine mix.

That shot glass has come in so handy. For baking. Seriously.

Using a cookie scoop, I dropped a large dollop into each silicone cupcake liner. These liners are awesome, not just because they're also rainbow colored and therefore St. Patrick's Day approved, but because you don't have to spray your pan or use throw away liners; they are so easy to remove ANYTHING from, even sticky foods, so just go get yourself a set. I used the bottom of a shot glass sprayed with Pam to evenly spread the crust out in the liners. A tablespoon would also work! Here's where I tell you to blind bake these crusts for 5-7 minutes at 325 degrees, then let them cool fully while making your filling. I skipped this step, and the crusts were super soft and messy. Granted, they're just Oreos and butter, so under baking them poses no health risk, and we're still eating them by the fistful anyway while my in-laws are here for a visit (also appropriate since they're the ones who gifted me the silicone cupcake liners).

Andes mints should be eaten after all meals, not just Olive Garden ones.

For the cheesecake filling, you'll need:

• 16 ounces 1/3 fat cream cheese, at room temp
• 1/2 cup Lakanto classic monkfruit sweetener
  
• 1 egg at room temp
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp mint extract
• 40 grams (1 serving) crushed Andes baking chips (sorry, not pictured!)
• Green gel dye
• 6.5 ounces of Lily's semisweet baking chips
• 8 Andes mints, cut in half diagonally

Check out those little Andes bits though..drool.

Start by mixing the sweetener and cream cheese together on medium-high in a stand mixer. Give this about 3 minutes to come together and get nice and fluffy. Then add in the extracts, green gel dye, and the egg, mixing on medium-low speed for a minute or two until things are fully incorporated. Mixing on low keeps too much air from entering the batter; this can cause your cheesecakes to crack. It's not the end of the world if these do since they'll be topped with ganache.  Finish by mixing in the Andes baking chips on low speed. Pour the batter on top of the cooled crusts, filling each liner almost to the top. Bake for 20 minutes at 325 degrees, then turn off the oven, crack the door open, and leave them to finish baking for another 10 minutes.

Something about this photo soothes my soul.

Once those 10 minutes are up, go ahead and place the tins in the fridge to cool. If you're using the silicone liners, you can take these out of the pan after about 30 minutes in the fridge since they're so sturdy; you won't have to worry about the cheesecakes collapsing before they're fully cooled (wait at least an hour with regular cupcake liners). Just place them on a plate (liners STILL ON), and cover with plastic wrap. Put them back in the fridge to set overnight or for at least 4 hours.

Cheesecakes are one of the few things in life worth waiting for...

The next day, I removed all my cheesecakes from the silicone liners. Honestly, they were SO PRETTY like this I thought about calling it a day/recipe. But you know how I feel about adding accents to the top of everything (it is nonnegotiable), so I melted 6.5 ounces of Lily's baking chips on 50% power in the microwave for 1 minute, stirred, and zapped again for another 30 seconds. These ended up acting like Magic Shell and are pretty thick, so if you want a softer ganache, add a 2-3 tablespoons of heavy cream or milk to the melted chocolate, mixing well.

And then I prepared to make a mess.

While your chocolate is melting, throw down some wax paper and place your cheesecakes on top. Unwrap 8 Andes mints, cutting them in half diagonally. There will be one half leftover, so pop this in your mouth for all the hard work you've accomplished so far and treat yo-self.

This photo is is everything.

Take a spoonful of melted chocolate, and drizzle it on top of each cheesecake. I used the back of the spoon to smooth the tops and push some of the chocolate over the edges.

Oh the enjoy-mint.

Finish things off by placing half an Andes mint into the top of the ganache. Let these set up without moving them for 10-15 minutes, then put them on a plate and move them to the fridge to let the ganache finish setting up for a few hours.

These absolutely sham-rock.

We've been eating these by flipping them upside down so we can hold the Andes mint topper and chow down since the crusts are a little too soft to handle. The ganache is nice and firm, so it acts as a better base, to be honest. Each bite has a little bit of Andes mint magic hiding in it, and I'm hard pressed to decide what my actual favorite part of this dessert is, so it's a good thing it is all bundled together. Definitely heed my warning and blind bake those crusts, though! Even without the perfect crust, these are still beyond delicious, so I can only image how wonder-inducing they'd be if I wasn't such an excited spazz when it comes to making mint chocolate desserts as fast as possible so I can devour them with the zeal and fervor shared by that leprechaun as he hides his Lucky Charms from children. Because seriously, who wants to share something so magically delicious? 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

We only have four left, so I'm planning my next mint endeavor...