He's a Green One, Alright.

 Well, we've finally made it into the last round of Holiday Eating 2021. I'm not huge into Christmas...the music is deplorable, most of the movies are too mushy (except for Die Hard, the best Christmas movie), and well, minus a strange man coming down the chimney at night to leave gifts, there is literally nothing spooky about it. As a lover of all things Halloween, you can see why I think Christmas has its shortcomings--save for the desserts. For some reason, during the month of December, it is appropriate to eat dessert at every single meal of the day, and I am so here for it. So yeah, I'm a little crabby and flabby during Christmas, much like my single favorite Christmas icon, the Grinch. I figured making a Grinch-based Christmas dessert was the closest I was gonna get to creepy Halloween-adjacent bake, so I went for it.

He may be a mean one, but he is definitely a green one.

Yep, they're terrifying and so, so very angry, and to me, this is perfect. To be fair, the Grinch didn't really hate Christmas, he hated people, and after nearly two years in a pandemic, I'm thinking he made some valid points. I must say though, he makes an absolutely delicious dessert. These pistachio cupcakes are so moist, light, and fluffy thanks to the secret ingredient, and the cream cheese frosting is the right amount of sweet (think a happy medium between Cindy Lou Who and the Grinch). I love a good green dessert, and to boot, these cupcakes are only 188 calories a piece. Sleigh what??

Still trying to find a decent GF Whole Foods cake mix replacement...

I'm gr-inching along over here, trying my best to make a cupcake that won't kill me, still tastes edible, and lacks all forms of gluten, and I think I may have found a suitable replacement for my Whole Foods GF cake mix. It's perfect because it only makes a dozen cupcakes, and truly, with the alarming rate I inhale dessert, I don't need more than 12 cupcakes waiting to meet their demise via my sweet tooth. As the Grinch aptly said himself, "Am I just eating because I'm bored?" To make these phenomenal pistachio cupcakes, you need:

• 1 bag of Birch Benders GF yellow cupcake mix or half a box of yellow cake mix if not gluten free
• 1 box of sugar free Jell-o pistachio pudding mix (this is the probably not-so-secret ingredient)
• 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
• 3/4 cup of milk
• 1/2 cup of egg whites or 3 large eggs
• 1/2 tsp almond extract

With the addition of the pistachio pudding, this recipe needed more liquid than what the Birch Benders recipe called for, just FYI! So don't follow along with the recipe on the back of the bag. Preheat your oven to 350, line a muffin tin with seasonally-appropriate cupcake wrappers, and dump all your ingredients in a stand mixer. Mix on low for 30 seconds before turning to medium-high and mixing another 90 seconds.

Just wait, they get greener.

I used a cookie scoop to place one and a half spoonfuls of batter into each liner. I gently swirled each cup with the back of the spoon to even out. The batter is quite thick with the pudding mix in it, so tapping the counter to even out doesn't really work here. I baked for 24 minutes at 350, until a toothpick came out mostly clean and my tops were starting to get just a tiny bit golden.
 

I didn't want to burn them, but they need a couple extra minutes to firm up.

Now, I recommend leaving the cupcakes in the tin for 10 minutes to cool once you're done baking. This way you don't burn your fingerprints off, unless you're looking to commit a little light holiday larceny like our pal the Grinch. Once cooled a bit, remove from the tray, place the cupcakes on a cooling rack, and shove this in the freezer to cool completely while you make the frosting.

Why is it so hard to find plain M&M's??

I went through it trying to find plain M&M's...everything was holiday themed green and red or not a plain M&M, whose size I needed for Grinch eyes. I was also trying to find Reese's Pieces instead since I just needed small yellow circles for eyes, but I could not find anything smaller than a 5 lb. bag, and I can't be trusted around a 5 lb. bag of chocolate peanut butter candy (that is a level of self control I'm very aware I don't have). I skipped that and went to the checkout in hopes of finding a plain bag of M&M's...behold, a Christmas miracle! Granted the only color I needed was the least populated in the bag, I was definitely feeling Grinchy after this. I will say the hardest part of making the frosting is simply finding plain M&Ms in a reasonably-sized bag (share size it says, as if I would)... For the cream cheese frosting you need:

• 8 ounces of 1/3 the fat cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup (226 g) fat free vanilla Greek yogurt, strained overnight
• 2.5 cups of Lakanto powdered monkfruit
• 1 tsp almond extract
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 12 yellow M&M's
  
• Gel dyes in red, lime, and black
• Star sprinkles and white sanding sugar for Whoville Christmas trees
  
• Piping tips: #12 round, #21 open star, #2 round, #32 open star, and #233 grass tips

Mix the cream cheese and yogurt until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the monkfruit and extracts, mixing on low first, the whipping on medium-high until everything has come together. Take a tiny amount of frosting (less than what I have pictured below), set in a bowl, and dye black; place this in a piping bag with a #2 tip. Load a piping bag with a #21 open star tip with plain white frosting, and then divide up your remaining frosting so that you have A LOT in one bowl to dye green, and a smaller amount to dye red. I dyed too much of my frosting red and didn't have enough green, so I could only make 6 Grinch cupcakes. I would've made all dozen Grinches, but my fallback plan was Whoville Christmas trees since I had plenty of white and a smidge of green. Try as I might, I can never get the frosting amounts right when I bake.

My least favorite part of baking is dying frosting."Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, double hate, loathe entirely." The Grinch and I have a lot in common it seems...

Put your green frosting into a bag with a #12 round tip, and have the grass tip handy to switch over to. The red frosting also needs a #12 round tip. Take your completely cooled cupcakes, and make a large, tall mound of frosting with the green bag. Doesn't need to look pretty, it'll get covered with hair.

Not actual hair, mind you. Unless you have dogs. Then, good luck.

Once I had a little mountain of green frosting, I switched to my grass tip and drew hair all over by simply piping a line of frosting at the top, then working my way down in two more layers, and repeating all over. It definitely doesn't need to look perfect or pretty. The Grinch was not known for his dashing good looks and perfectly coiffed hair.

Yep, this looks exactly like ketchup.

Now, grab the red frosting and draw small loops to build up a Santa hat on top of his head.

Now we've added mayonnaise.

Then take your white bag of frosting and give the Santa hat a little star trim and one on top.

He is somehow staring into my soul with nary a pupil.

Then take a yellow M&M, cutting in half gently with a sharp knife. Place this on the front of his face, and give him very angry eyebrows and tiny, soulless pupils with the black frosting.

You might regret it once you've done this though. It kinda feels like you've got a kitchen full of tiny serial killers looking at you...or at the very least, the world's most judgemental cupcakes.

On the upside, these are so angry that they're a perfect likeness of the Grinch. And if you only do half of your dozen this way, you can make some very cute little snowy Whoville trees to try to temper all that tiny green rage.

Because you always, always need something with sprinkles.

I piped a large blob of white frosting on my other 6 cupcakes, smoothing out with an angled spatula. Then I dumped plain sanding sugar in a bowl, and one at a time, gently placed the cupcakes face down in the sprinkles, swirling around the bowl.

So sparkly!

Then I swapped to my #32 piping tip on the remainder of my green frosting. The trees are very easy to make. Just pipe one larger mound, pushing down before pulling away, then pipe a smaller mound on top of that, pushing down before pulling away, and then one tiny little mound on top, where you simply pipe then pull away to make a point. Then add whatever whimsy you fancy to finish your Whoville Christmas trees. Could be funky glitter, little stars, round sprinkles for ornaments, you name it, it'll work, because those Whovilles were wild with style.

These are so cute I can't stand it. "Help me...I'm feeling."

Starting to feel like How the Grinch Stole Christmas was maybe also meant to be my autobiography?

Because my heart (and waistline) grow three sizes every time I look at these adorable cupcakes.

This kinda brings a whole new meaning to the "He sees you when you're sleeping, and knows when you're awake" bit. I swear, his eyes follow you around the room.

So these "definitely before he reformed" pistachio Grinch cupcakes are a tad bit terrifying and yet somehow seasonally appropriate because red + green = CHRISTMAS! I can't stress enough how amazing these are...I'm definitely sad there's only a dozen of them because that pistachio flavor is so, so right. The cupcakes are so fluffy and light that you definitely could eat them by the dozen, and the cream cheese frosting is 110% the icing on the (cup)cake to make these sheer holiday perfection. I know, it's not gingerbread or peppermint, but it's green, so I count pistachio as a Christmas flavor. Trust me, yule be sorry if you don't make a batch to eat, enjoy, and terrorize your children with. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight over that last cupcake. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Do you eat the Grinch cupcakes, or do the Grinch cupcakes eat you? It's a thinker.

The Belle of the Butterball

Day 4 of the Thanksgiving holiday: the sight of turkey on my plate for the 65th time, the stretchiest of pants don my waistline, and I'm simply proud of myself for showering today. I gotta say, I probably wouldn't need to take Zzz-quil every night if I ate a turkey leg an hour before bedtime. But post-fried-turkey coma, the thing I absolutely enjoy the most about Thanksgiving is the dessert spread. Like oh, you just ate your body weight in stuffing and mashed potatoes? Here's a platter of five different kinds of pies. We threw in some cobbler, too, just because we've officially lost our mind. It's absolute madness, and I cannot stress enough how much I love it. Dessert with a side of more dessert? This is my Shangri-La. If you've ever wondered whether a petite woman can eat an entire pie in less than a day, let me assure you, the answer is yes, and don't forget the Cool Whip. Considering my propensity to eat everything in sight during Thanksgiving, I decided to go small for the dessert table this year...in my defense, my husband was frying a turkey, and this is literally the only time I put the main course before dessert. Enter mini pumpkin cheesecakes with gluten free Oreo crusts!

I mean, I can't quit dessert cold turkey...

GUYS...I know I say this literally every single time I make a cheesecake, but this is the BEST RECIPE EVER. Unless you hate pumpkin, then I am sorry for you and your empty soul. But if you love it, this is the creamiest cheesecake with the right amount of pumpkin flavor, an extra little boost of sweetness and pumpkin spice in the whipped topping, and those buttery Oreo crusts are drool-worthy. Since I knew I'd be eating about 6,500 calories in main and sides on Thanksgiving, I made sure these were ultra low cal. This recipe makes 14 cheesecakes at 173 calories a piece (yes, less than a single dinner roll). Definitely keep this recipe in your back pocket for next year, or later this week because it is still November, and pumpkin is still a seasonally-appropriate flavor. Peppermint and gingerbread can stand in line and wait a few more days.

I refuse to Christmas bake before December 1.

There are actually 2 ways to go about the crust. I figured my cheesecake filling would make 12 total cheesecakes, but I had leftovers, so two of my cheesecakes simply had a single Oreo on the bottom as a crust, and honestly, I liked these better because they were easier to handle and retained a good bit of crunch after baking. But if you like a buttery crust, you need to crush 14 Oreos in a blender or food processor until a fine crumb, then pour in 3 TBS of melted light butter, and pulse until everything is wet. Line 2 muffin tins with 14 cupcake liners.

Like a bottomless pit of flavor.

Place one tablespoon of the crust into 14 cupcake liners, using a shot glass or the bottom of the tablespoon to smooth the bottoms out and slightly up the sides of the liners. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes, then remove from the oven and place in the fridge to chill while you make your filling.

There's a little bit of a hustle and work here since these are cheesecakes, but baking is my cardio, so all good.

The actual cheesecake filling is made of:

• 16 ounces of 1/3 the fat cream cheese, softened at room temp
  
• 1/2 cup of Lakanto monkfruit sweetener (classic)
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla
• 1 teaspoon of pumpkin spice
• 1/2 cup of pure pumpkin
• 2 eggs at room temp

Once your crusts are done baking, lower the oven temp to 300. Start by whipping the cream cheese and sugar together until light, fluffy, and smooth, about 3 minutes. Then add the vanilla, pumpkin spice, and pumpkin, mixing well on medium. Switch the mixer speed to low, and add the eggs, one at a time, until fully blended.

I just want to bake the world a better place. One cheesecake at a time.

Grab the cooled crusts from the fridge, and fill each liner almost all the way to the top with batter. Gently tap on the counter to release any bubbles, then bake for 15 minutes at 300 degrees. Once those 15 minutes are up, turn off the oven, but leave the cheesecakes inside with the oven door shut for 30 minutes. Then crack the door for 1 hour to finish cooling...cheesecakes are fickle divas, but since they are so good, we let them pretend they're Mariah Carey.

I pecan't even...they are just so delicious.

Once cooled to room temp, you can remove them from the muffin tin and place in the fridge before topping with even more pumpkin spice.

Consider the whipped topping the sprinkle version of cheesecakes...it isn't done until it's got sprinkles.

Hi, sprinkles.

I took 124 grams of Cool Whip free (less than half the container) and mixed it with 1/2 a teaspoon of pumpkin spice. Truly, you don't need much here. A little pumpkin spice goes a long way...it isn't like garlic, where you can dump 10 cloves into a recipe and everything's fine. Ingestion of too much pumpkin spice puts you at risk of turning into a basic white girl.

I was going for pumpkins on top of pumpkins, but this is fine because I am wholly aware that I am a basic white girl.

I used a piping bag fitted with a 2D tip to place little pumpkin-y dollops of whipped topping onto each cooled cheesecake. I had a little topping leftover, so to prepare for Thanksgiving, I just piped the leftovers straight into my mouth. Shame? What is that?

There's no time for shame when cheesecake is involved.

Keep your mini cheesecakes in the fridge until ready to serve and devour by multiple handfuls. My in-laws were with us on Thanksgiving, and these were a big hit. My husband isn't huge into pumpkin (because there's a 2-month window where I put it in EVERYTHING), but he even liked these, so it strikes a good balance with pumpkin lovers and people who are indifferent to pumpkin flavor. I mean, it's a cheesecake, so it's absolutely decadent, sweet, and heavenly. It also certainly does not hurt that there's a chocolate Oreo crust...don't sleep on this flavor combo. Pumpkin and chocolate are meant to be together...like most other things and chocolate. Because if there's one thing in this world I am always thankful for, it's reliable, old chocolate. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday celebrating with family, friends, and loved ones. I know we did, and we are so grateful for the time we got to spend with our family (and not just because of the smorgasbord of fried turkey and these cluckin' awesome cheesecakes). Never take those moments (or desserts) for granted. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Until next fall, pumpkin, my love...

Bone-a Fide Celebrations

We had a bone chilling Halloween thanks to New Mexico taking it upon itself to have a chilly, windy, spooky day that was just the perfect amount of seasonally appropriate. It gave me great comfort to sit in the dark and hide from my greatest fear (children) while watching Hocus Pocus for the 6,575th time this month...the weather really set the tone for Halloween ambiance, and I could not be anymore thrilled with spending a Halloween at a temperature below 85 (looking at you, Florida). I actually made my final dessert of Baketober on Saturday, but I wanted to wait to post about it since it is not a Halloween dessert, but a tribute to Dia de los Muertos. Although Novembooer doesn't have as much of a ring to it as Spooktober, I am happy to close out my favorite season of baking with none other than sugar skull-decorated sopapilla cupcakes with honey buttercream frosting.

These were skele-fun to make.

You know a good pun always tickles my funny bone, but in all seriousness, I have always been so interested in the Day of the Dead, especially growing up in and then spending a good part of my adult life in regions that celebrate it. Thanks to movies like The Book of Life and Coco, I feel like Dia de los Muertos has become a holiday more people are familiar with, which I love. It's an excellent tradition to honor and celebrate the lives of those who have passed. The vibrancy, dedication, and love put into each ofrenda is amazing...to celebrate what was had instead of mourn what was lost is something beautiful. I wanted to bake something for us to celebrate in our own way, and I positively love the festiveness and spirit of a calavera. I will admit I have absolutely no idea how to make a proper pan de muerto, but this basic white witch sure knows her way around a cupcake. And who doesn't love a good, pillow-softy, honey-soaked sopapilla? This was a mashup made for the holiday.

The only horror here is that I ran out of Whole Foods GF cake mixes.

Halloween is a scary time of year, but nothing is scarier to me than running out of a tried and true baked good mix with zero way to re-up my supply. I bought so many boxes of gluten free Whole Foods brand cake mixes before we left because they are hands-down the best gluten free mixes in the world. Sadly, I ran out (cue the horror music), so it was time to try some new mixes. For my very low calorie (157 calories a cupcake) sopapilla cupcake recipe, I used:

• 1 bag of Scotty's keto cupcake and cake mix (gluten free and found on Amazon)
• 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
• 1/2 cup of egg whites
• 1/3 cup of fat free or skim milk
• 1 TBS vanilla extract
• 1 TBS cinnamon, divided
• 2 TBS granular Lakanto monkfruit sweetener (or regular sugar)
• Also, the world's most amazing cupcake wrappers thank to my mom, the family Queen of Halloween:
  

I have waited a whole year to use these, so pardon my excitement.

To bake, start by preheating the oven to 350 and lining a muffin tin with 12 cupcake wrappers. Carefully pour the cake mix into a stand mixer (seriously, this mix was SO powder-fine, everything looked like it was covered in snow after I haphazardly dumped the bag in the mixer...including my face...spooky ghost makeup!). Add in the applesauce, egg whites, vanilla, and 1/2 TBS of cinnamon. Mix by hand for a second, then turn mixer to LOW speed..my Kitchenaid's idea of low made it look like a cloud of volcanic ash was settling in my kitchen...so definitely take a second to mix by hand. Then blend on low for about a minute. While this is mixing, put the sugar and remaining cinnamon in a small bowl, mixing together. Reserve for later.

All that cinnamon sugar goodness.

Using a cookie scoop or tablespoon, plop a scoop and a half of batter into each liner. Then take the cinnamon sugar mix and sprinkle it on top. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

End result gives off major concha vibes, not sopapilla ones, but still.

Once done, remove from the oven but leave in the pan for 10 minutes to cool. After they've cooled a bit, they'll be safe to remove from the pan and placed on a cooling rack. I put this in the fridge to chill completely while I made frosting. I have the same amount of patience as a skeleton has guts (read: zero).

Yeah, forgot a photo.

I was so excited at HOW GOOD MY HOUSE SMELLED after the bake that I completely forgot to take a photo of my frosting ingredients. It was all I had in me not to eat the entire dozen cupcakes before they were even frosted...you know, still in muffin format (really, what's the difference?). For my honey buttercream frosting, I used:

• 1/2 cup reduced fat butter, still chilled
• 1 cup of vanilla Greek yogurt, strained overnight, still chilled
• 2 TBS honey
• 3 cups Lakanto powdered monkfruit sweetener
• Gel dyes in neon colors (I used pink, purple, yellow, and lime)
• Small round tips (#1, #2, #3) and a few open star tips (#18 and #21)
  
• I also had leftover black frosting, which I moved from the freezer to fridge overnight to thaw out. This recipe will make enough to cover all 12 cupcakes even without the extra helping of black frosting. You will just need a pinch of black cocoa powder or black gel dye.
• Optional: edbile silver luster dust
  

Simply whip the cold butter and yogurt together until smooth, then add in the honey and powdered sugar. Mix well, then grab your fully chilled cupcakes. Wait to dye your frosting until after you've made the skull's base.

I love a good sparkle.

I slathered on a hearty amount of plain white frosting onto each cupcake, then I used an angled spatula to smooth out. I put the cupcake on the counter, kept my spatula flat, and then used my free hand to spin the cupcake around...this let the frosting flatten out, then I repeated on the sides of the cupcake to give a solid base. I then took a paintbrush dipped in silver luster dust and gently tapped it on top of the cupcake to give it sparkle. Even skeletons should sparkle. It makes them look skella rad. I placed these in the freezer to set while dying my frosting. I was absolutely still so jazzed that I forgot to take even more photos, but split your remaining frosting up evenly and dye each a fun color, make sure to dye some black if you're not like me and don't have a special freezer section devoted to leftover frosting...if there's a Bakeaholics Anonymous, I probably need a meeting.

At least this guy wasn't judging me.

I used the following frosting tips for each color:

• Hot pink frosting with #18 tip
• Purple frosting with #21 tip
• Black frosting with #2 tip
• Yellow and lime frostings with #3 tips

Basically, your imagination is the limit here. Use the black to draw on the mouth and nose. The easiest way to pipe the nose is to turn the cupcake upside down and draw a heart, and this will be nose when you turn him right side up!

They may be dead, but they'd still like the option of looking decent.

For eyes, I used the star tips to pipe flowers, then came in with a round tip to give them pupils. I then used various colors in the round tips to draw lines, dots, and fun patterns on each calavera.

Looking fierce, might take a skelfie later.

I also used my round tip to draw hearts for eyes on several calaveras and then used the flower tips to give them a proper flower crown. You can come in with the round tips to give each flower little dots in the middle as well.

This dude is by far my favorite of the bunch. His slightly crooked smile just makes it.

He doesn't care that his smile isn't straight. He's a skeleton. Absolutely nothing can get under his skin. Ya know, on account of the fact that he doesn't have any.

They obviously get it...look at those smirks.

These ladies make me so happy.

Hey again, handsome.

I like to imagine this was a really fun double date...you could say it's a humerus prospect. Yep. more skele-puns.

Seriously, whatever colors or patterns you use, there is simply no wrong way to make a super cute sugar skull. As long as it looks happy, vibrant, and fun, you've done an excellent job of making a great Dia de los Muertos celebratory dessert.

Having some totally bomb cupcake wrappers also helps (thanks, Mom!).

OK, I could upload literally hundreds of photos of these cupcakes because they are probably my favorite bake of Baketober 2021...make no bones about it. As far as flavor is concerned, that honey buttercream frosting is absolutely fibula-ous. It's creamy, just the right amount of sweet, and if you drizzle a little extra honey on top, you definitely get the full sopapilla experience. As for that new cake mix, I will say it gave a nice, light, springy sponge, but if I hadn't added cinnamon, there would've been zero flavor. So, that's a major bummer since it did yield a really nice texture, but it was more like a bread flavor with cinnamon added in. I mean, maybe I just found the very basic pan de muerto recipe I've been looking for, so small Dia de los Muertos miracles? I will definitely make this sopapilla cupcake recipe again when I either find the right new GF box mix or convince someone with a Whole Foods nearby to mail me 65 boxes of their mix. I guess I better retire my resting witch face and ask politely. It's been a wonderful month of spooky bakes, and I can't wait until next October! 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Better get to work on my social skulls, you could say.

Bone to be Wild

It's mid-October, and I am dying over the fall weather in New Mexico. Chilly walks in the morning get an A+ for spookiness because there's usually several flocks of black birds and Chihuahuan Ravens cawing from the rooftops as the sun rises, and boy, does it ever make me feel right in my creepy element, and I LOVE IT! This inspired me to create a scene of one of my other favorite spooky places: Spiral Hill in Nightmare Before Christmas. Everyone needs a good hill to sing their heart out on, but when you add tombstones and deranged, demented pumpkins, it's just perfect. After all, demons are a girl's best friend.

Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about.

Oh, I may be all about the terrors of the night, but we also know I am all about the sprinkle sparkle--so I had to make the night sky shine with some luster dust that really only picks up on video. It's a constant war in my head between "make it sparkly, but somehow also make it spooky," because inside, I am the Wicked Witch of the West just wrapped into a Glinda the Good Witch exterior, but I say, if the broom fits, fly it.

 

 Yeah, Jack looks more like a crash test dummy, so he definitely is a good example of why you should always use stencil templates instead of free-handing, especially when you're distinctly aware of the fact that you cannot draw a stick figure, but I am very pleased with how the rest of this cake turned out. The absolute best part is this is my first pumpkin dessert of the season, which means fall has truly arrived! It is a chocolate pumpkin cake because these are two flavors that just go so right together but no one ever thinks to combine them. But the nutmeg, cloves, and cinnamon in pumpkin spice and the smooth richness of chocolate are a match made in heaven, even though this is an evil Halloween blog. It's all treats and no tricks, too, because it's only 226 calories a slice for 9 slices total (I like to eat my cake with a side of cake, so you could easily make this 12 servings for 170 calories).

 

Pumpkin spice and everything nice, indeed.

Even if you only sorta like pumpkin, you've gotta try it with chocolate...it's next level. This cake is SUPER easy to make, you just need:

• 1 box of chocolate cake mix
• 1/2 cup (111 grams) unsweetened applesauce
• 1/4 cup (41 grams) egg whites
• 1 cup (244 grams) pumpkin puree
• 3/4 cup of milk
• 1 tsp of pumpkin pie spice (a little goes a very long way...)
  

Did I eat a spoonful of plain pumpkin? Or is there another reason it's still on the counter? ...IYKYK.

Start by preheating your oven to 350 and mixing all ingredients in a stand mixer for 2 minutes on medium high. Pour your batter into a 9x13 baking sheet that has been thoroughly sprayed with Pam or cooking spray beforehand. Bake this for 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean,

I just love a good sheet cake. Sheet dreams are made of this!

Let the cake cool in the pan on top of a cooling rack for 10 minutes before you turn it out onto the cooling rack...I use a tea towel on top of the cake so when I flip the pan over, it's got somewhere soft to land on the rack. Put this in the fridge to cool off while you make delicious black cocoa cream cheese frosting.

Black cocoa is the MVP of black frosting recipes

This is a yogurt and cream cheese frosting, so be sure to strain your yogurt overnight in a sieve. I put a bunch of Viva paper towels (a cheesecloth would also work) in the strainer, then measure out the yogurt I need, put this on the paper towels, cover, and let sit in the fridge overnight to strain. Don't skip this step if you want to have a stiff, pipe-able frosting. You need:

• 8 ounces of 1/3 the fat cream cheese at room temp
• 1 cup (226 grams) yogurt, chilled and strained --I used vanilla, but if you can find pumpkin flavor...
• 1 1/2 cups Lakanto monkfruit or powdered sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tsp cinnamon extract (alternatively, just use 1 TBS vanilla and omit this if you don't have cinnamon extract)
• 1/4 cup of black cocoa (I find mine on Amazon)
  

Whip the yogurt and cream cheese together for 2 minutes on medium high before adding the sugar and extracts. Mix well, then remove a portion of plain white frosting to save for the yellow moon and orange pumpkins later. This makes a lot of frosting--I only used about 1/3 since I didn't frost the sides of my sheet cake. You can freeze the rest for later because having black frosting on hand is handy even during Christmas (too soon).

You don't need a lot!

Now, turn your attention back to the mixing bowl and add the 1/4 cup of black cocoa. Mix well, until you have a frosting so black, you're worried it might consume your soul.

Given the opportunity, it most definitely would.

Now, take your fully cooled cake and slather a layer of that gorgeous, soul-sucking black frosting on top. It doesn't need to be perfectly smooth; I used a sweeping motion with my angled spatula to give the background some texture. Then place it in the freezer to set for 15 minutes while you make your moon stencils.

It's like staring into the world's most delicious abyss.

Don't worry, you don't need an actual compass.

So I took Parchment paper, a pencil, and a drinking glass to trace the cup upside down for a larger circle, and then right side up for a smaller circle/the base of the glass. Then I used my X-acto knife to cut out the inside of the circles.

Could be the start of a spooky ghost mask.

I cut these into two sheets, as pictured above. You'll need the larger hole to start with. So take some of your reserved frosting, and dye it yellow. You'll also need an angled spatula or a paint brush.

The dark side of the moon.

Place your larger template on top of your chilled frosting. Use your fingers or a paintbrush to gently push the edges down into the frosting so the yellow doesn't bleed everywhere.

Heap some yellow frosting into the center of the circle and spread it out evenly.

Then use your angled spatula to smooth out and sweep off excess frosting. This is going to be the outer glow of the moon, so you only need a very thin layer of frosting. Some black peeping through is fine:

I see the light!

You can remove your template now and use your paintbrush or angled spatula to make small sweeping motions from the outside edges of the moon out to the black on the cake to create that halo.

Hide your werewolves.

Now, throw back in the freezer for 15 minutes to let this layer set. Then you'll repeat with the smaller circle to make the main moon.

1. Smaller Stencil.

2. Even more yellow frosting & smoothing out with angled spatula.

3. Howl at the moon.

Now, grab a toothpick and carefully draw out spiral hill on top of the moon and rest of the cake. I should have moved this down a bit to make my hill bigger. By the time I got to Jack, he had a wee little space to fit in, which also adds to his unfortunate appearance. The Pumpkin King deserved better from me, the Pun-kin Queen of Halloween.

Cake decorating is hard work. You don't know Jack-o-lantern if you think it's a piece of cake. Well, eating it literally is anyway.

I took my bowl full of black frosting and loaded a bunch of it into a piping bag fitted with a coupler and a #5 round tip. I then traced the outline of the hill, and filled it in with more frosting. I used a palette knife, but an angled spatula would also work, to give the hill some texture.

Oh no, this is giving me Florida flashbacks. No waves! No beach!

I used my piping bag to draw a pretty rudimentary fence to meet up along side the hill, then drew out a few tombstones, using my palette knife to smooth them out. I also used a toothpick to draw Jack before butchering his appearance...I piped him out with a #2 round tip, but I HIGHLY suggest cutting out a template like I did with the moon and frosting him on top of the moon that way. And also, make him and the hill bigger. He is a larger than life character, after all.

He was bone to be wild, and I made him look mild. Sadness.

I also drew in some vines in black around each tombstone and along the sides of the cake. Then I took my last little bit of white frosting, dyed it orange, and put it into a piping bag with a #18 star tip. I piped a little field of cute pumpkins all over the graveyard. Simply pipe up and away quickly to create the pumpkin shape.

This is simply not creepy enough.

So, to remedy, I put the rest of my yellow frosting into a piping bag with a #2 round tip and piped tiny Jack-o-lantern faces on some of the pumpkins.

Are they smiling or screaming?

Now, NOTHING IS DONE IF THERE AREN'T SPRINKLES. Or in this case, edible glitter dust.

Always wondered if this would work as an eye shadow, not gonna lie.

This is my black disco dust, or edible food glitter. I ordered it from Amazon sixty-seven years ago, an Id have only ever remembered to use it twice. This being one of those times. I used a paintbrush dipped into the jar and then gently tapped the dust around the top half/sky portion of my cake, avoiding the moon.

Pictures don't do it justice.

This took the cake from being okay to being, OH, KAY! A little sparkle is always needed, even during Halloween.

I mean, it's a cake dedicated to a skeleton that wore a tuxedo. We need flare.

My poor Jack may look jacked up, but I love my creepy pumpkins, the texture and way my Spiral Hill turned out, and my spooky halo moon. I definitely think this is a cake I'll remake in a few years...with a template for Jack. He needs to shine! Like my night sky.

And maybe some different styles of tombstones.

Not every cake can be perfect, and sometimes the flaws make it a little more fun. That's probably why I enjoy Halloween baking so much. Things are supposed to look a little creepy and rough around the edges this time of year!

Turning that baking fail into a baking lesson!

I mean, poor Jack aside (he even looked better than this when he tried to be Santa), it's a still a cake. And oh my, what a yummy cake it is. I know pumpkin flavor has turned into the flavor of the basic white girl thanks to Starbucks (the one thing Seattle didn't get right), but pumpkin is still a solid flavor choice for October and November. And I'm telling you, even if you're on the fence or only kinda tolerate pumpkin flavor, just do me a favor and try it paired with chocolate. I promise it will make you a believer and part-time basic white girl. It is just so good with chocolate, and add in that black cocoa frosting (think Oreo cookie) along with the chocolate in the cake, and pumpkin is not the star player here, but part of a bigger cast of flavor. You know, consider these tastes the Lock, Shock, and Barrel of Halloween Town. Always working together to create havoc and mischief for your waistline. Worth it. I'll be back once more before Halloween with my final bake of Baketober (sad Mayor of Halloween Town face). 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

"For it is plain as anyone can see. We're simply meant to be." —Jack and Sally, or me, to a slice of this cake.