Easier Than Pie

Trust me, there's no one more surprised than I am that this isn't another pumpkin dessert blog. We finished up the pumpkin toffee bars earlier in the weekend, and I was immediately ready to go for round two of pumpkin spice madness, but I actually don't buy my canned pumpkin in bulk. Shocking, I know. Instead I decided to give my husband a break and bake something else. I know, poor guy, having to put up with my baking all the time. But in all seriousness, I wanted something that was quick and easy. It's still 90 every day with over 85% humidity and the thought of having the oven on for longer than 30 minutes is well, sweltering and makes me want to cry a little. I mean, it's raining right now, and true to my Garbage-loving musical inclinations, I really am only happy when it rains. But much less so when the rain somehow makes it even more hot and humid than it was before it started. Florida even ruins rain for me, so I clearly am harboring some feelings that need to be eaten. And since my usual motto is that "These feelings would go great with pie," I wanted to whip up something that would satisfy my lust for fall foods but take literally no effort on my part. And thus, the apple pie dump cake was created.

It was still hot out, but I felt so much better about it.

The beauty of the dump cake is that you literally just dump your two ingredients in a pan and shove it in the oven. But since I am both complicated and a perfectionist, I used more than two ingredients and employed the use of my stand mixer. But I still promise it's easy. And it's actually super low-cal. My entire cake makes 15 servings at only 126 calories a slice (sans toppings). It's a bit more than that after I pile the Cool Whip Free and caramel sauce on top, but what's an extra 80 calories when I burn that many simply standing outside and sweating in the Florida heat for five minutes. Florida summer: nature's natural weight loss remedy. You can definitely eat this without toppings. Honestly, without the toppings, this would make a great brunch staple. Fluffy angel food cake meets tart and sweet apple filling and a sprinkling of delicious cinnamon-sugar on top. Drooling yet? You should be. And if you think caramel sauce and Cool Whip can be eaten at any time of day, I both applaud you and recommend this can be eaten with any meal at any time.

Six ingredients to pure crisp, apple-y fall bliss.

Six ingredients?! I know, downright absurd for a dump cake. But when you consider I'm calling this an apple pie dump cake, thus fusing together pie and cake, I think you can forgive me for asking you to find six very simple ingredients instead of two. After all, I'm just trying to make the world a better place via dessert. I think we'd all be a lot happier (or at least less inclined to talk) with our mouths full of cake. Gather up:

• 1 box of angel food cake (the just add water kind)
• 1 can of apple pie filling (I used lite for lower cal and sugar content)
• Cinnamon and sugar
• Caramel Sauce
• Cool Whip Free

This is literally the hardest step.

 Start by preheating your oven to 350 and greasing a 9x13 pan with cooking spray. Now bear with me, here's where things get extremely complicated. Dump your cake mix and can of pie filling into a bowl and mix on low until ingredients are blended. Whew. Thanks for coming with me on that wild ride.

Did I mention I'm serving this cake with a heavy side of sarcasm?

 Plop your batter into your pan and smooth out with a rubber spatula. Tap on the counter to release air bubbles.

And also serving it with a side of cinnamon sugar.

 Then sprinkle a little bit of sugar and a lotta bit of cinnamon on top of your batter. Apple + cinnamon = the other great fall comfort food. Bake your cake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. The top should be slightly firm (not completely hard) and golden:

I wanted to dive in with a shovel.

Mmmm cinnamon sugar is like crack to me. I refrained from licking the entire cake though, so I'm getting better with my addiction.

Once cooked, set on a cooling rack and let it cool off a bit before serving. I let it cool all afternoon and reheated in the microwave for a few seconds to get the apples nice and gooey again and just because I feel like anything apple cinnamon should be served warmed. 

And then this yummy melty Cool Whip happens.

And I was not wrong...topped with a dollop of  Cool Whip Free and some warm caramel drizzle, this transported me to one of my favorite cider mills in Rochester Hills, Michigan, where we could watch them press the apples to make cider while eating a fresh apple cinnamon donut. And yes, I do have a favorite cider mill. If you don't, go find one that can bring you into a state of childlike glee that fall has arrived (in most of the United States). You can bide the time with this cake though because it is the perfect amalgamation of apple pie and angel food cake. Sweet and tart with that melt-in-your-mouth consistency of angel food cake and a slight crunch from the cinnamon sugar topping. The metaphorical icing on the cake is that its done in a whopping 35 minutes from start to finish. It will make your house smell like fresh cinnamon donuts and turn even the staunchest of summer lovers into a fall fanatic. I mean, you might want to top theirs with ice cream though. Baby steps. With October just around the corner, you can bet I'll be back soon with a plethora of spooky treats. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Brace Yourselves...Fall is Coming

...or so I'm told. After threats of a giant hurricane quickly brought us out of our post-Alaskan adventure bliss, we're left with 88 degree temps in the middle of September here in Northwest Florida. While it may be so hot and humid it fogs up my glasses when I step foot outside, I have total climate (and decorative) control over the interior of my house. Since it's halfway through September, the fall decor is in full swing. I am greeted by Dia de los Muertos skeletons every time I walk in the door, and I am positively twitchy to get Halloween fully rolled out. But since I'm afraid some of my outside decor might actually melt in this heat, instead I decided to fill the inside of my home with a scent I had been longing for since last fall. That's right--pumpkin flavored everything has now begun rolling out of the oven. Florida's ridiculously hot weather better get with it, because I'm cranking the A/C, wrapping myself in a soft blanket, and willing crisp mornings to get here stat. Hell hath no fury like a Kate craving fall weather.

My biggest sin is that I dare to hope.

These mouthwatering pumpkin toffee bars have thankfully taken me to my happy place. Coincidentally, my happy place is just being on my couch surrounded by my dogs, but this time with fall-flavored desserts. I'm hard pressed to decide what I like best about these bars--the pumpkin, the toffee, the fact that my entire living room smells like a giant Yankee candle, or the low-calorie goodness that baking with pumpkin provides. Why yes, I am pretty happy with myself for baking these. Thank you for noticing. What you won't notice is an expanding waistline because an 8x8 pan makes 16 servings at only 164 calories a bar. I mean, you could even pig out a little and cut them into 12 servings for 220 calories. I'm not here to judge your pumpkin intake. In fact, I'm here to encourage it. I will say bars are best served while watching something Halloween-y.

All the ingredients you need to make your very own white girl catnip.

I found this recipe and decided to make a few modifications. Literally the hardest part about all of this was finding Heath toffee pieces at a grocery store (Target saved the day). Usually I keep my pantry stocked with toffee bits (my toffee cravings are the only thing more powerful than my pumpkin ones), but I had since devoured the last of my toffee during hurricane prepping. Nothing brings out my sweet tooth faster than imminent doom! I've been successfully eating all my feeling since 1987. To make these bars, you'll need:

• 1 box of spice cake mix
• 1/2 cup of flour
• 3/4 heaping cup of pumpkin puree
• 1 egg
• 1/2 heaping cup of Heath toffee bits
• 1/2 cup of fat free sweetened condensed milk
• Optional: pumpkin pie spice

You will need ALL of the cooking spray.

Start by preheating your oven to 350 and lining an 8x8 pan with foil. Heavily spray the foil--this dough is stickier than a jar of honey but equally sweet and delicious. Mix together the cake mix, pumpkin puree, egg, and flour. Spray your hands with cooking spray, and line the bottom of the pan with the dough mix. I used less than half of the dough mix and just gently pressed it into my pan and partially up the edges.

Like really bad finger paint art.

Now, measure out your heaping half a cup of scrumptious toffee bits and sprinkle, sprinkle away, my friend!

Like tiny little bits of heaven. What? I'm not drooling right now. You are.

Then top your toffee bits with the 1/2 cup of sweetened condensed milk.

 Now, spray your hands with more cooking spray and take small chunks of the leftover dough mix. Flatten it out in your hands and top the condensed milk/toffee goodness until you've either used up the dough or have your bars completely covered. I sprinkled the top of my dough with pumpkin pie spice for some pizzazz and extra pumpkiny goodness. I am not ashamed of how basic my love of pumpkin spice makes me. I only get to enjoy this for three months a year, and then I go back to being Wednesday Addams the other nine months. Once I finished topping my bars, I had about 1/4 of my dough mix leftover. 

Doesn't have to look spectacular. You're going to eat the entire pan faster than you can look at it, trust me.

I took my remaining 1/4 of dough mix, greased a 6" cake pan, flattened the dough into it, and topped it with chopped pecans and a dusting of cinnamon. I baked both my bars and my tiny pumpkin creation at 350 for 20-24 minutes. My 6" pumpkin pecan cake was done at 20 minutes, and my pumpkin toffee bars were done around the 23-24 minute mark.

And the smell made me happier than a bird with a french fry.

Must resist urge to dive in face first.

Let your dreamy pumpkin goodness cool on a cooling rack until completely set. Give this at least four or five hours at room temp or pop into the fridge for two or three hours. These are worth the wait, I swear. 

If you make a small cake with the leftover batter, it's cooled in a half an hour.

I know this because I had a slice with lunch, 30 minutes after I took everything out of the oven. The cake itself is bursting with that spiced pumpkin flavor so quintessentially tied to Autumn. It isn't too sweet, but the cinnamon and pecans on top made it a perfect thing to have with brunch or as a means to tide you over before actual dessert time after dinner.

Pictured: Dessert part deux

Yeah, I had dessert twice in one day. Is this surprising? No. It would honestly be more surprising if I had waited the entire day to get my hands and taste buds on some pumpkin. While the little cake was a good way to keep me from eating the entire pan of pumpkin toffee bars before my husband got home, the main course was so tasty I was transported to a time and place where the wind is cooler, the smell of fall is in the air, and the humidity levels are hovering somewhere around "You can totally have straight hair today" amounts. These pumpkin toffee bars blend two of my favorite treats together into one perfect amalgamation of everything I ever wanted in a dessert. They are sweet, they are spiced, they are laden with toffee. If I could only eat one dessert for the rest of my life...but thankfully I don't have to make that choice because there's like 65 different ways to incorporate pumpkin into dessert, and I'm just getting started. 'Til next time, my fellow eaters!

You are the first in a long line of your kind.